‘I found my strength and freedom through nature’
When Faith Douglas, 44, found the courage to end an abusive relationship, she sought solace in nature as she rebuilt her life
Standing alone in the woods, I inhale deeply. Trees rustle, sunlight shines down through the leaves and all the stresses of everyday life begin to disappear. Nature is where I go to heal; it’s where I get my strength and it’s what helped me during my darkest time.
In 2012, my marriage ended after 13 years and three children together. I was a curator at Thorp Perrow arboretum in North Yorkshire. I have always loved the outdoors, so getting to immerse myself in it every day was my dream job.
I began a new relationship with high hopes, but the man turned out to be emotionally and physically abusive. Apart from work, he wouldn’t let me go anywhere without him, so I stopped seeing my friends. The worst part of it all was the mental abuse; he made me feel everything was my fault, as if I deserved what was happening to me.
He was having counselling for mental health issues. I went with him to one session and his therapist asked him to leave the room. When we were alone, she asked me what was going on. She told me what I already knew but was afraid to admit: I was a victim of domestic abuse.
The therapist also suggested some things that could help, one of which was mindfulness. So when my partner was away for a few weeks, I enrolled on a course. I also began walking in the woods and found comfort among the trees. I learned that they release oils, which, when breathed in, can reduce stress and anxiety. It helped clear my mind and I finally realised the abuse wasn’t my fault. I knew I had to find the courage to end the relationship.
ASKING FOR HELP
When my brother came to stay with us, he gave me the strength to go to the police. I told the officers I wanted my partner to leave my home and they escorted him from the premises. However, that wasn’t the end of it. He began stalking me, demanding I take him back. Finally, with the help of the Independent Domestic Abuse Services charity, I got a restraining order and, when he broke it, he was jailed for two months.
As a result of the experience, I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder and had therapy myself. And I found sanctuary outdoors, spending as much time as I could in nature. I found it really healing. My children and I would go for long woodland walks and we visited my aunt in Spain, where we spent hours on the beach making sandcastles and searching for shells. We went on camping trips, too, and on clear nights we would lie outside and watch the shooting stars. Together, we managed to move on.
In 2015, I even started my own forest bathing and mindfulness business, leading sessions in nature in the hope that it would help others as much as it helped me. I now have a new partner, Terence, who I feel safe with, and we have a young daughter together.
Looking back, I’m amazed at how far I’ve come. I can still feel anxious and there are times when I even blame myself for what happened. But I’ve learned that while I can’t change the past,
I can change how I respond to it. The most important thing is that I got out. I survived and I have the natural world to thank for my resilience and recovery.
The Nature Remedy: A Restorative Guide To The Natural World (HQ) by Faith Douglas is out now
I can’t change the past, but I can change how I respond to it