The ‘UNCOUPLE’ PLAN MOVE BACK TO LONDON

SHE ONCE COMPLAINED that, ‘In America, I was at a party and a girl said, “Oh, my god! Are those Juicy jeans you’re wearing?” and I thought, I can’t stay here. I have to get back to Europe.’ Now, it seems Gwyneth Paltrow, 44, is as good as her word – with news reaching Grazia that the high priestess of kale is returning to London. And she’s bringing Chris Martin with her.

According to one source close to the uncouple, they are eyeing up a relocation next summer, after their children – Apple, 12, and 10-year-old Moses – have finished the current school year. ‘They’re horrified by Trump’s election and feel that it’s a damning indictment of the current state of America,’ said the insider. ‘Their children’s education is extremely important to them, and they’re in agreement that the English school system is better. On top of that, Gwyneth misses her friends in London, and Chris is keen for the kids to be closer to his parents in Devon.’

While emigrating with your ex-husband may be unorthodox, so is steaming your vagina, and Gwyneth isn’t known for following convention. Apparently, the pair have already discussed buying adjoining properties in Hampstead and continuing to summer in LA. They sold their former London home – again adjoining – in 2014.

One complication is Gwyneth’s relationship of two-and-a-half years with TV producer Brad Falchuk. The source added, ‘They both have the resources to make things work long-distance, and Gwyneth would still be back and forth with work commitments. As a sweetener, she’s invited Brad to share their family Christmas with the kids in Malibu, after he was conspicuous by his absence at Thanksgiving. Gwyneth is keen to go the distance with Brad, but family comes first and she doesn’t want her kids growing up in a country as divided and hostile as America has become.’

Nobody tell her about Brexit.