Chart of lust

This week, who we LOVE, want to TWEET, and, yes, even actually BE

1. NEW IN DVF’S ‘ YACHT SQUAD’

Von Furstenberg called them ‘ the funnest vacation group ever’ when she posted a pic of them, snapped off Tahiti, on Instagram. Let’s make ‘ yacht squad’ happen, eh?

2. UP JEZ BUTTERWORTH

His new play The Ferryman has transferred to the Gielgud Theatre in London’s West End. Blew our tiny, lust- addled minds when we saw it ( just as Jerusalem did).

3. UP THE FRAME DENIM GIRLS

Impossibly fit in the new season campaign. We will probably bankrupt ourselves trying to channel the vibe. Dress us like one of your Frame girls!

4. NEW IN O. T. FAGBENLE

In The Handmaid’s Tale- related news, we’re developing a massive Thing for Elisabeth Moss’s on- screen husband. So earnest. So bespectacled. So hot.

5. NON- MOVER JACK GUINNESS

Told a mutual friend an earlier spot in Chart of Lust proved most gratifying to him. Our pleasure, Jack. We believe hotness must be recognised, consider it our duty to do so.

6. NON- MOVER NIKOLAJ COSTERWALDAU

AKA Jaime Lannister, The Kingslayer, twin brother/ true love of Cersei, platonic (or is he?) friend of Brienne of Tarth, one of the reasons we love GOT, which is back.

7. UP JAY- Z

Revealed in footnotes for 4: 44 that his marriage to Beyoncé wasn’t ‘ built on 100% truth’. Oh, Jay-z! Whose is, mate? Whose is?

8. UP LOVE ISLAND’S MARCEL

We’re not watching, we think it gives lust a bad name, however, we were tickled to learn that Jeremy Corbyn has given ex Blazin’ Squadder Marcel his blessing.

9. UP KERMIT

Splitting from his long- term voice artist Steve Whitmire, following a 27- year partnership, because everyone needs a voice-makeover from time to time.

10. UP ELIZABETH HURLEY

Looking hot last week in her garden, doing bikini yoga, photographed by son Damian, for whom she once beheaded a snake with an axe.