HALLE LUJAH ! THE END OF THE A STERI SK

3SO, TOM FORD has a new fragrance out and it’s fucking fabulous. No, really, , that’s what it’s called. And I think it’s one of the most fucking fabulous names for a perfume I’ve ever heard. But does it offend you? Should it offend you? It’s certainly putting it out there, isn’t it? Mr Ford is really pushing the boundaries of taste with this one. Or is he? Is the assembling of the letters f,u, c, k, i, n, and g, in that order, while abandoning the * to block out some offending characters, truly, in 2017, something to raise eyebrows? To tut-tut over? I say, no, it’s bloody not. Because, whether you like it or not, swearing seems to be happening now in real, uncensored life. And thank god for that.

I am going to let you into a secret. Whereas once upon a time the pages of Grazia were peppered with the prudish bleeps of asterisks, for the last six months we’ve been turning the air blue with real life, spelt-out profanity. In one issue alone I totted up five – including a ‘dick’ on the cover. Because as the world we’re living in seems to be relentlessly throwing us real shit to get sweary about, and we exist in a time of unfiltered expletive-laden social media, we took the educated punt that our readers could handle it. Also, our content has never been aimed at children. Listen, we’re not advocating gratuitous swearing – jeez, is there anything more vulgar than those ‘mega lol’ screaming greetings cards in places like Scribbler: ‘Happy Birthday you slag/ dick/tosser’? Hideous. No. This – as demonstrated impeccably by Mr Ford, one of the greatest taste makers of our times – is knowing when it is appropriate, even necessary, to employ words once regarded as rude. We’re not showing off, just being real. And isn’t that what we strive for right now? Authenticity. We’re also not big fans of censorship. So, we are here to say – along with Tom – that we’re rendering the asterisk redundant (for swearing, at least). And if you need any more evidence that profanity is actually palatable, nay, productive, I refer you to science. Earlier this year, a new study at the British Psychological Society Annual Conference revealed that not only has swearing been proven to make you stronger, using expletives also works as pain relief. Finally, swearing is also scientifically proven to be a sign of higher intelligence. Of course it fucking is, especially, by the way, if you’ve got a swear word in your actual name.