Show + Tell with Paul Flynn

Dynasty’s back – but what about the ’80s shoulder pads and super-bitches?

FORMER DYNASTY STAR Gordon Thomson – aka Adam Carrington – gave the super-soap’s millennial reboot an awkward pre-publicity rumble recently by describing it as ‘total shit, an abomination’. Given Dynasty’s reputation as the queen of executive trash, Thomson’s verdict felt more observation than insult. If the unfolding saga of the Carringtons and Colbys – an oil-rich, morality-poor Denver powerhouse variant of the Montagues and Capulets – bore one salient original distinction, quality control was never it.

For the new incarnation, we are placed back into the fanciful hands of creators Richard and Esther Shapiro. The original characters have been transposed into the 21st century with a little tweaking to keep fans of the old show interested. The producers’ taste for pacey affluence has shown no signs of abating since Dynasty bowed out almost three decades ago, taking the last catfights of the ’80s with it.

The 2017 version opens with the engagement of Blake and Cristal Carrington, much to the horror of their children: Fallon, who’s expecting to inherit the family business, and Steven, who’s busy sleeping with his future stepmother’s nephew. They are introduced to their father’s fiancée while he’s gently making love to her on a desk at the family mansion. A sullen chorus figure, Blake’s trusted valet Anders watches on mute from the wings.

It’s all knowingly silly, slight and hammy. Dynasty was ever thus, a masterclass in high camp. But there is something amiss here, quite aside from the suspension of disbelief that was part and parcel of buying all the ’80s aspiration. Nolan Miller’s costume department defined the ’80s but the new version looks way more generic. Some characters have changed race ( Jeff Colby is now black), some gender (Heather Locklear’s iconic Sammy Jo is now a Hispanic gay man). This feels like the clever thing to do. It would be even cleverer to make us care for them. Alexis may yet arrive to save the day.

There is an overblown denouement to the first episode, which feels very old Dynasty. Not quite, ‘ Which one of you bitches is my mother?’ But not far off. So was Thomson right? Almost. It’s a shame Dynasty isn’t more of the world-beating abomination it once was. From Thursday, Netflix