CHART OF LUST
WHO we’re loving and living for this week
1 NON- MOVER NAOMI CAMPBELL
Wading in on the side of the grid girls, who marched against their expulsion from Formula 1. ‘I’ve never found it offensive and I’ve walked on that grid many times,’ she said. We err on the side of the grid girls, too.
2 NEW IN JOEL KINNAMAN
Star of Altered Carbon, which is new on Netflix and utterly brilliant ( if you’re the kind of person who adored the original Blade Runner – and why wouldn’t you be?). Joel is handsome and routinely naked.
3. NEW IN KERRY AND LEE ‘ KURTAN’ MUCKLOWE
Stars of BBC Three’s This Country, back soon for a second series, because there is a God after all, and he likes how Kerry’s mum says ‘tomato’ ( inside joke).
4. NEW IN MONA CHALABI
Statistician, journalist, podcaster. Woman got an E in A level maths, is now creating some of the hottest visual representations of stats around and, yes, that is possible.
5 UP BASIL BRUSH
1970s prime-time megastar, slated for a revival by the BBC on Mel and Sue’s The Generation Game. Beyond dapper, beyond smooth; achieving fashion icon status shortly. 6
NEW IN G- DRAGON AND TAEYANG
Stars of the South Korean K-pop scene, part of boy band BIGBANG, currently awaiting their military service call-up. One Direction never had this problem.
7. NEW IN HAL IN REQUIEM
Aka Karl Marx in Twenty Twelve/w1a, aka Stylax Urastaques in Plebs, aka actor Joel Fry, who is fanciable in all guises, and our standards are high, whatever you’ve heard.
8 DOW SARAH SILVERMAN SILVER AND MICHAEL MIC SHEEN
The comedian and actor split over Christmas, but only just let us know, which we
guess is OK? Though a heads-up before New Year world have been considerate? Just saying.
9. NON- MOVER DAVID AND ALEXIS ROSE
We just finished three series of Schitt’s Creek, and find ourselves bereft without our TV siblings by another mother.
10. DOWN DRAGOS PATRUNJEL
‘Britain’s most stylish shoplifter’; a person whose style-driven shoplifting spree ( he was sentenced to do 150 hours’ community service) we do not condone, OK?