Letters

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LETTER OF THE WEEK SUPPORT IS OUT THERE

My dad passed away 10 years ago at the age of 58; it was very hard and my mum really struggled ( School of thought, 5 Mar). She found talking to divorcees made it so much worse as she couldn’t grieve for the retirement she was denied or the man she loved. She’s found real strength and made great friends through a social networking group called The Jolly Dollies. They’re free, national and welcome any women who have been widowed. It really took the burden off my sister and me. You can find your local branch through a quick google or Facebook search. Christine

WHO’S JUDGING WHO?

Was Elizabeth Day being ironic or completely oblivious in Has the black dress protest become another way to judge women? (5 Mar)? The introductory commentary about the Duchess of Cambridge’s clothing managed simultaneously to embody reverse snobbery and to patronise ‘ bored housewives’. A lot of women can’t afford the obscenely expensive clothing many magazines promote as the norm but most don’t consider ‘mid-market’ something to be sneered at. Lucia The argument was that we mustn’t criticise women for what they wear, and yet the opening paragraph judged the Duchess of Cambridge on her fashion choices, in an almost

Mean Girls way. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but when the argument is against a world that constantly pits women against each other, don’t openly criticise a woman’s choices. Helen

THE LOSS NEVER LEAVES

I had an emergency hysterectomy at 37 following the birth of my daughter to save my life. ‘I chose to have a hysterectomy at 31’ (5 Mar) meant so much because, for once, someone totally got that feeling of loss. Like Helen, I had two children and felt immensely lucky but that didn’t take away the pain I felt at losing what for me helped define me as woman. If I had £1 for every time I’ve been asked at my GP or hospital appointment if I could be pregnant, I’d be rich. Like Helen, on good days I can handle it, but on bad days, it hurts like hell. All I ask is that people don’t make assumptions or snap judgements – everyone’s experience is different and personal.

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