IS YOUR EX ORBITING YOU?

Those pesky past loves keep rotating round your (social media) axis, says Poorna Bell

ANOTHER DAY dating ‘tren,d’ that will make any right-thinking single woman want to Miss Havisham herself. Remember when you thought ‘ghosting’ – where someone you were dating cuts off all contact without explanation – was bad?

Welcome to ‘orbiting’, the word coined this week to describe that phenomenon when an ex reappears, only to lurk around your social media feeds. They won’t DM or text you, yet they’ll pop up in your Instagram or Snapchat stories, maybe even liking, retweeting or leaving comments. Unlike drunk texting, this is usually done sober, and there’s no statute of limitations on time – it can happen a considerable period after you were involved with each other.

I noticed this with two guys I dated. The first, who had abruptly cut off all contact, now likes random posts on Instagram and even leaves the odd comment. The second slower, gentler ghoster likes the safety of my Instagram stories. He doesn’t just watch one, he watches them ALL.

Trying to decipher why people orbit is a downward spiral into madness, however. Especially if you’ve been ghosted, because you’ll be tempted to interpret their orbiting as a sign they’re interested again. Spoiler: if they were interested, they would text you.

Dating and well-being expert Kiran Singh says it’s not about you, it’s about them: ‘Those who orbit might do it because they have some personal issues that need to be dealt with, hence they “keep an eye” on what you’re up to without actually being in touch.’

If you haven’t already unfollowed this person, do so. If you’re feeling less forgiving, block them. Or, if that seems harsh, just be patient: they’ll eventually find a different orbit.