THE LIFE AND LOVE LESSONS OF ‘MR LOVE ISLAND’
His hilarious observations are as integral to Love Island as the contestants, so here ‘voiceover guy’ Iain Stirling tells us what the show has taught him
PERSONALITY ALWAYS WINS
Everyone on Love Island is the ‘goodlooking one’ in their friendship group back home, but in the villa they’re just like everyone else, so have to fall back on their personality. Have you noticed the person everyone fancies has never won? Eventually, we’re all gonna turn old, grey, wrinkly and wet the bed and nobody will care if you have half a million followers on Instagram.
YOU CAN’T FAKE FEELINGS
I never understand it when people say, ‘ They’re faking it,’ about relationships in the villa. If you can pretend to like someone for eight weeks under constant surveillance, you should be a spy. People don’t do that. I think it’s more that they worry about other people’s feelings, so they say things they don’t mean just to be nice.
SHORT-TERM PAIN IS THE BEST SOLUTION
Josh probably wasn’t as into Georgia at the end of their relationship, but he didn’t want to upset her so he didn’t say so. That’s worse in the long-run; it’s better to be upfront. I’m terrible for that. I don’t like to say no, so I end up double-booking and letting people down. You see that in the villa; five minutes of awkwardness results in a better life for all.
DON’T SAVE UP YOUR PARTNER’S BAD BEHAVIOUR LIKE STORE CREDIT
I’ve noticed that, in arguments between couples, they’ll save up, say, six things the other person has done that week to annoy them and then they let rip! Don’t pointscore: deal with it as and when it happens.
LOYALTY ISN’T SAYING YOU’RE LOYAL
You shouldn’t have to tell someone you’re loyal – it’s like saying, ‘I’m a nice person.’ I’m not saying Georgia isn’t loyal but she’s 20. It’s something you learn as you get older – you can’t just say it, you’ve got to be it.
GRAFTING SHOULDN’T ACTUALLY BE HARD WORK
The whole ‘grafting’ thing comes from having to be in a relationship to survive on the show. But in real life, if you care about somebody you’ll make the effort, without calling it ‘graft’. Caring more about how they’re doing than how you’re doing is special and comes naturally.
‘ TAKING RISKS’ ISN’T A THING
People were saying, ‘Oh, Wes took such a risk going from Laura to Megan,’ but did he? He probably wasn’t that into Laura, so it wasn’t a huge risk. You take risks for a reason: because you want the other option. Iain Stirling is on his U Ok Hun? X stand-up tour until 2 December. His book, ‘ Not Ready To Adult Yet’, is out 9 August