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BREAKING THE SILENCE
Less than 24 hours before I came across The silence around miscarriage invalidates the grief you feel (3 Dec), at a nine-week scan, I’d been told my baby had no heartbeat. My first miscarriage four years ago left me scared and worried I would never be able to have children. It was excruciatingly painful and extremely lonely. But the more open you are about it, the more you realise how many people have gone through it. I am lucky to have a bold and beautiful three-year-old daughter and many well-meaning people say ‘at least you have her’, which is true. But I am a mother to three children, two of whom I never got to hold or meet. Still, it won’t define me and it won’t stop me from trying again. Miscarriage is normal and it must be spoken about to prepare those 1 in 4 who will suffer the same fate, hopefully not in silence. Rebecca
BALANCING ACTS
My social life has changed but I wouldn’t says it’s ‘suffered’ (‘ To be a successful working mum…’, 26 Nov). My childhood friends will always be my BFFS. Other friendships are more transient and those through the kids appear to be ‘of the moment’, but they bring me great pleasure. I have work mates where we know intimate details of each others’ ‘right now’ lives but less about our past or future goals. Lots of Whatsapp bants though! What I don’t have any time for is me. Reading a book? Ha! Louise
Reading Maria’s article has been a breath of fresh air as that is exactly how I feel! Juggling the demands of running a business with two teenagers, a husband, two spaniels and managing a house is exhausting. Learning to say no and being honest about the reasons why is very difficult but Maria is so
right. Something has to give or everything will suffer. Tracey
I have a five-year-old son, husband, a few good friends and full-time senior role. My motto has been, ‘You can have it all but in moderation.’ But who am I kidding? Less time with my son means guilt; moderated work effort affects performance; less time with friends equals less fun. With no extended family support, precious little time with friends already, work may have to give. Right now, exhaustion, anxiety and mere existence are the order of the day. My New Year’s resolution will be boundary-setting. Marie