What’s sexy now?

‘ DRESSING SEXY’ HASN’T BEEN TOP OF THE MODERN WOMAN’S LIST LATELY. BUT, SAYS LAURA ANTONIA JORDAN, WITH CHRISTMAS PARTY SEASON IN FULL SWING, IT MIGHT BE TIME TO RECONSIDER…

when liz goldwyn was working a corporate job in her twenties, she liked to wear a lot of vintage Courrèges. The French designer’s modernist aesthetic made him an architect of the ’60s – all miniskirts and go-go boots. Liz, however, favoured the pieces because their boxy shapes hid her body and squashed her boobs. She says it was a no-brainer for a young woman trying to make her way in a world dominated by older, more powerful men. ‘I felt I had to subvert any aspect of my sexuality in order to be taken seriously.’

Fast-forward 20 years, however, and now Liz, the writer, filmmaker and founder of sex positivity platform The Sex Ed (thesexed.com) wears whatever she wishes, which often means old Hollywood glamour meets an avantgarde edge – with, yes, plenty of sexy spirit. ‘I’ve come to understand that my sexuality is a source of power,’ she says. ‘I don’t need to deny it to make someone else more comfortable.’

But sexy – or specifically, the act of trying to be, or dress, sexily – can be distinctly uncomfortable. Not just in the way that sucking and plucking your way into a sliver of a dress can be uncomfortable, but socially. When gender politics are so volatile, saying you want to ‘look sexy’ can feel a touch tone deaf. At its best, sexy can be naff and bawdy – a Love Island meat market of tans and injectables in a bandage dress; at its worst, it can semaphore the complete submission to a masculine view of what a woman should be, do and look like.

A change is happening, however. Slowly but surely, we are bringing sexy back – but this time, on our own terms.

To understand the new sexy, you have to first dismiss all the imagery typically associated with the word. Bin the red underwear, the tiny dresses and the spindly seven-inch heels – if it looks like the product of a teenage boy’s fantasy, then it’s out.

‘Personally, I find denim sexier than fishnet stockings or a red dress or whatever else it is we’re supposed to wear to look hot,’ says Alexa Chung, whose own style and label is something of a bellwether for how real women dress – or at least want to. ‘ Those are lazy tropes that are in dire need of updating. They’re limited and boring; some dude in the ’50s probably invented that and it does a disservice to all of us with our expansive imaginations and beautifully complex relationships to sexuality.’

Chung is just one of the female designers who’s had a knockout 2018. There’s also The Vampire’s Wife’s Susie Cave, Molly Goddard, Simone Rocha, Stella Mccartney, Alessandra Rich and many more. Givenchy’s Clare Waight Keller arguably stole the show this year, and last week, Miuccia Prada – the patron saint of cerebral, slightly odd elegance – picked up an Outstanding Achievement nod at the Fashion Awards in London.

So why does this matter? By giving the female gaze greater prominence, it follows that our definition of sexiness has shifted as well. ‘I think it would be a great shame to abandon the concept of “sexiness” as a response to the current changes,’ says Cave. ‘A sense of sexiness and sensuality are the divine right of women.’ Indeed, the new sexy is something designed, created and chosen women 

– not thrust upon them.

So what does sexy look like now? Well, for starters, it’s subtle. Waight Keller has consistently demonstrated via Meghan Markle that the subtlest hint of shoulder can feel a little provocative.

The new sexy is rooted in authenticity and comfort. Often this translates into a more modest, more covered definition of sexy – not because of prudishness, but because, quite simply, that’s how most grown-up women feel more comfortable. Tugging at a hem or pulling at a neckline is never a good look. Fancy dresses can be dressed down with more wearable shoes, suggesting the multi-dimensional nature of the women who wear them. But make no mistake, the new sexy doesn’t lack wowfactor: there’s still room for look-at-me shades, bold prints and suggestive fabrics. It’s inclusive, and that’s a non-negotiable.

Consider The Vampire’s Wife. Cave’s dresses might not be obviously sexy – there are no cut-outs, little cleavage, the pieces skim rather than cling (see Rachel Weisz, far right) – but the women who love them certainly feel that way. They are easy to wear, and effortlessness is at the core of the modern movement. ‘I like clothes that reinforce what is already fundamental within women: their innate power and awesomeness,’ says Cave. ‘I never dress for men, nor do I dress against them. I dress for myself in clothes that can heighten that inner feeling of self-assuredness, a sexiness toward the world itself.’

‘ We are living in a man’s world,’ admits the designer Batsheva Hay. ‘But I think brands like mine are better received now that women are starting to question who makes the rules for how they should look.’ Indeed, Hay’s dresses should, by common logic, be anti- -sexy. sexy. Taking their cue from vintage Laura Ashley styles, she began making them to fit the modest dress constraints of Orthodox Judaism. When wearing one recently, I was not wolf-whistled, but heckled: ‘ What year is it, darling?’, a witty comment on the dress’s whiff of Victoriana. Who cares? I felt great. I felt sexy – that’s my prerogative.

THE NEW SEXY IS SOMETHING CHOSEN BY WOMEN – NOT THRUST UPON THEM

It’s this sense of agency over our own bodies and wardrobes that really makes the new sexy feel galvanising. What is sexier than having an opinion and the voice to express it? ‘I try and make clothes that empower women to feel their most “them”,’ says Chung. ‘A person is sexy when they are free to speak and express themselves,’ says Hay. ‘I like it when people speak through their clothing and wear something interesting. That is way more powerful and alluring.’

Of course, what we each consider sexy is a highly personal insight into our psyches – as nuanced and revealing as our favourite foods, pet peeves or how we take our tea. ‘Our sexuality is as individual as our fingerprints,’ says Goldwyn. But there is one non-negotiable: confidence. ‘I think sexy has always been the same, but maybe our perception of it has changed. To me, it is all about confidence. Do you feel comfortable in your skin, and then, by extension, your outfit? If you do, I bet you look pretty sexy,’ says Brett Heyman, the founder and creative director of accessories line Edie Parker. Net-a-porter’s global buying director Elizabeth von der Goltz agrees: ‘It’s not as overt now – it’s more about an attitude.’ But does sexy even matter in 2018? Goldwyn thinks that owning our sexiness carries an important message. ‘ The more we can spread a message of sex positivity when we are still walking around with so much fear and shame and judgement and trauma… it’s important to remember the incredible power and pleasure not just in having sex, but being attuned to our sexual energy, and that includes feeling good about what you’re wearing,’ she says. ‘Sexiness is an inner-feeling. It is to do with self-love,’ agrees Cave. ‘It has much to do with a certain self-regard where one navigates the world with a confidence in their own physicality, no matter what that is.’