‘women must not now be too scared to travel alone’

Last week, the father of murdered British backpacker Grace Millane said he hoped her tragic death wouldn’t stop women from travelling the world alone. Faye White agrees with him…

Like Grace, I went backpacking by myself as a 22-year-old study-abroad student in Australia. It was three years ago when I packed my Lowe Alpine rucksack and headed up the East Coast. Even though I’d never even had a meal in a restaurant on my own, this felt like an opportunity to prove to myself I was capable of holding my own hand as I embarked on a two-week solo trip.

The penultimate stop was a two-night stay on Fraser Island, a popular backpacker destination off the coast of Queensland. Thrown together in a group with seven other backpackers, we headed there along with a couple of tour guides. The guides warned us of the main dangers – sharks, snakes, spiders, jellyfish and dingoes – but I never considered the possibility of being attacked by a human.

On the second night, I was raped by one of the tour guides in my sleep. I woke up while I was being attacked, froze and couldn’t speak, but when he stopped, confused, I confronted him. He just said: ‘Shhh, I drank too much last night,’ and rolled over to face away from me. I went back to sleep, and when I woke the next morning, he was gone.

I spent the following day hiding in my hostel room trying to piece together what had happened, as the man who raped me enjoyed drinks at the bar with the other backpackers. When I confided in the group about what had happened, most of them laughed and did not believe me.

I decided to abandon the remainder of my trip and return to Melbourne, where I went to the police. Sadly, they and a barrister advised me that even if the case did make it to court, it would be unlikely I would win due to a lack of evidence. I also told my parents, which was the most difficult conversation I’ve ever had to have. I was so worried about upsetting them that I initially told my mum by text.

But, two months after the attack, I boarded a plane to New Zealand alone and went backpacking again. I knew that if I didn’t, I would never feel safe on my own. Later that year, I returned to the East Coast of Australia alone to complete the last leg of my trip. It was important for me to reclaim the space and to once again prove to myself that I did not need anyone to hold my hand.

Fighting back tears at a press conference last week, New Zealand’s Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, apologised on behalf of her country. Addressing Grace’s parents, she said: ‘ Your daughter should have been safe here, and she wasn’t, and I’m sorry for that.’

And she is right, Grace should have been safe, but her untimely death is a reminder that the world remains an unsafe place for women. However, as research by the Office For National Statistics has revealed, the vast majority of female adult victims of homicide were killed by a partner or someone who is known to them, as opposed to the 9% murdered by a stranger.

So, like her dad, I hope Grace’s story doesn’t discourage girls from travelling alone. Historically, women have been unable to explore so much of the world for so long, with limited access to education, travel and freedom of speech. We need to take up space around the world and explore it unaccompanied and without fear. Being a female solo traveller did not kill Grace – a human did. If you’ve been raped or sexually abused, the charity Rape Crisis can help; visit rapecrisis.org.uk