‘ Why I backtracked on Barbie’

Forget breast versus bottle, if you have a child, another conundrum is heading your way – to Barbie or not to Barbie. As a kid, I loved her. I recently got my hands on 1980s Peaches and Cream Barbie and the joy she sparked was off the Kondo scale. But when I had my first daughter, I imagined we’d be a Barbie-free home. Too thin, too blonde, too busty, too obsessed with Ken and ball gowns.

Instead, I opted for Lottie dolls. Lottie’s great. She has a girlish figure and cool hobbies like astronomy and fossil hunting. But then my mum, who works in a charity shop, brought back a stash of Barbie stuff – and let’s just say that Lottie and her telescope haven’t been very busy lately. Instead, Barbie has been cavorting with Ken in fabulous outfits. Last week, she went camping in a fur coat and knee-high boots. She’s got a campervan with a Jacuzzi and a jeep just for going to the beach. She is never not #lovinglife.

So is Barbie grinding her stilettos into my daughters’ selfimage? Well, among the haul was a so-called ‘Curvy Barbie’ with Kardashian-esque proportions. About 30 seconds in, my fouryear-old branded her ‘Fat Barbie’ because she couldn’t fit into a tiny pair of shorts. My instant response was, ‘Aaargh, goodbye innocence,’ but actually it led to a conversation about body shapes, difference and the word ‘fat’. We talked about how ridiculous it is that ‘normal’ Barbie would only be able to walk on all-fours in real life but that, happily, she’s just a doll. Because that’s the crux, isn’t it? She’s just a doll. The big stuff – self-image, confidence – is down to us, their walking, talking parents. So let’s just get on with celebrating Barbie’s birthday. Now what’s she going to wear?