Lily on Life as a single mum: ‘ i’m Learning to Live in the present’

Lily Allen talks candidly to Grazia about being a single mother, using social media responsibly – and how she’s still not talking to her dad

Thirteen years ago, Lily Allen arrived on the music scene bursting with wit, authenticity and reggae beats – but more recently, her name is likely to prompt a conversation about her drug and alcohol abuse. In her recent best-selling memoir, My Thoughts Exactly, she disclosed that during her 2014 Sheezus tour, she paid a woman for sex and would ‘dive straight into the minibar’ each morning.

And yet, last week, as she finished the last leg of her No Shame tour, she talked to Grazia of days spent hunting for artisanal coffee and how much she’s looking forward to reading This Is Going To Hurt, the diaries of junior doctor Adam Kay.

So how’s her current relationship with her parents, film producer Alison Owen and actor Keith Allen? They don’t come off lightly in her book, with details of their own drinking and drug-taking. ‘My mum finished [the book]. She’s fine,’ Allen says. ‘ There were bits she found uncomfortable but she gets it. And my dad… I haven’t spoken to him since before the book came out, so I can’t tell you how he feels.’

Having recently broken up with grime MC Meridian Dan, at 33, Lily is single for the first time since she was a teenager. ‘I’m just getting on with working, being a single mother and getting my shit together. My goal was always to live happily ever after. But now I’m just happy living in the present.’

She says she’s on Raya (a privatemembers dating app) but only because she never switched it off after joining a while back. ‘I do go on there sometimes and usually get messages from people who are actually my friends in real life,’ she laughs.

We speak as she is about to board a plane home from Australia after the end of her tour. She’s found being away from daughters Ethel, seven, and Marnie, six, ‘pretty painful. I’m absolutely desperate to get back to them. I’m at the airport buying any piece of shit that’s coloured pink to take back.’

Does she worry about her girls growing up in a world where they’ll no doubt want to join Instagram? ‘ Yeah, I think about it all the time and I hate it. I don’t want them to be on there but they’re going to want to be. I’m in no rush to give them phones.’

She says people attach too much selfworth to social media in general and worries about the things young girls may feel the need to do in order to get ‘likes’. ‘If there’s a picture of a girl next to a pool with a T-shirt and jeans on, it will get X amount of likes. If there’s a picture of her posing in a bikini, it will be double. I know which one I’d choose if I was 13 or 14. It’s not cool to be putting our kids in that position.’

In fact, she thinks social media is bad for everyone – including herself. ‘I’m still figuring out how to use it in a safe way rather than letting it take over my life,’ she says. ‘Instagram is a cruel beast. You have to engage with it in order for the algorithm to work in your favour. So if you’re doing well on Instagram, you don’t have a life anywhere else. It’s so time-consuming.’ Lily Allen is the face of Vype’s new House of Holland collaboration in partnership with Rankin, celebrating the epen 3 range. Available at govype.com