Let’s learn the Love Island Lingo!
IT’ S JULY AND THE SUN is shining, which can only mean one thing: we’re all sitting at home in darkened rooms glued to Love Island, only breaking concentration to occasionally ask one of our six dedicated Whatsapp groups what a ‘dead ting’ is. Last year, the Islanders taught us the meaning of ‘prang’ and ‘dramastic’, and this year there’s a whole new lexicon to master… (Never let it be said that ITV2 isn’t educational.)
THEY SAY: ‘Dead ting’ WE SAY: Popularised by Amber ‘I don’t care, I’m not crying, it’s my hay fever, shut up’ Gill during last week’s re-coupling; it means boring, dull and plain.
THEY SAY: ‘Bev’ WE SAY: Despite a committed and exhausting campaign to make ‘bev’ (meaning ‘fit’) happen, even Lucie seems to have accepted that her catchphrase isn’t going to take off. Sadly, we are not convinced that’s enough to stop Prettylittlething.com printing it on a T-shirt.
THEY SAY: ‘Fanny flutter’ WE SAY: Of all Maura’s iconic contributions to the villa – deep-throating an ice-lolly, force-feeding Michael a banana, generally behaving like a chaos demon – perhaps this phrase will be her ultimate legacy. It roughly translates as, ‘the feeling you get watching Tommy Fury do chin-ups’.
THEY SAY: ‘Factor 50’ WE SAY: This is not a reminder to slap on the sun cream per se, but a sign that someone is laying it on thick. It’s a handy preface to a declaration that you could be falling in love (see Molly-mae’s confession to Tommy).
THEY SAY: ‘I’ve had my head turned/my eye is wandering’ WE SAY: A way of indicating that you’re about to betray your partner with a new arrival, while implying heavily that you have zero agency or choice in the matter.
THEY WE SAY: SAY: Why ‘It is stay what silent it is’ when you can waste five words saying absolutely nothing? That seems to be the philosophy of this year’s Islanders, who have been parroting this meaningless phrase non-stop. Fancy the new arrival? It is what it is. Just been dumped on national TV? It is what it is. Accidentally started a toaster fire and engulfed the entire island in a deadly blaze? It. Is. What. It. Is.
THEY WE SAY: SAY: Apparently ‘Bull-beep’ Curtis is perfectly comfortable declaring his loyalty to Amy, before attempting to couple up with a disinterested Jourdan, only to return with his tail between his legs. However, he is afraid to say ‘bullshit’ out loud, preferring to use ‘bull-beep’ instead. Interesting.
THEY SAY: ‘Can I pull you for a chat?’ WE SAY: On Love Island it’s bad manners (and not so handy for the camera crew) to have a chat without first asking, ‘Can I have a chat?’ The chat itself will only ever be variations of ‘I fancy you’ or ‘You’re dumped.’ It is what it is.