Chart of lust

Who we're loving and living for this fortnight...

1. Up GUY RITCHIE

Partly because his new film, The Gentleman, is 17 separate shades of glorious. Mostly, because we interviewed him for it, found him to be most hot.

2. Non-mover IDRIS ELBA

Who, despite playing Macavity in Cats, the most terrifying musical of all time, declared himself to (possibly) not be a cat person. Audacious.

3. Up ADAM DRIVER

Mounting pressure to out him as a diva/ cancel him (after he walked out of a radio interview, and a recent New Yorker profile wasn’t entirely flattering) inspires us to point out he’s really, really hot: so, who cares?

4. New in MIMI NDIWENI

We haven’t seen any of Netflix’s The Witcher yet, but we hear excellent things. Pre-emptive googling suggests a cast of great fitness, Mimi being a fine example.

5. Up PRINCE CHARLES

The Crown interpretation of him, anyway. We finished season three and felt both compassion, and faint stirrings of the lustual variety, because of him.

6. Up SELENA GOMEZ

Her new album, Rare, will be released ever so soon. We like the artwork. It is whimsical, but not annoyingly so.

7. New in TAIKA WAITITI

New Zealand film-maker, first tickled our lust buds in Flight Of The Conchords, returns to us in the form of an imaginary Adolf Hitler in gorgeous flick Jojo Rabbit.

8. Up GIMLET MEDIA

Purveyors of some of the sexiest podcasts we ever did hear, got bought out by Spotify last year, who are investing in it, which can only mean sexier podcasts yet in 2020.

9. Up ELLIE GOULDING

For the part she played rescuing the driver of a car that got stuck sideways against the grill and bumper of an articulated truck. Well done, EG!

10. Up ‘HAIRY, HAIRY PEOPLE…

…with wrinkles and lots of them, please.’ You’re wanted to play orcs in Amazon Prime’s adaptation of Lord Of The Rings. This is literally their brief. Go get ‘em!