WHY I’M GIVING UP MY AMBITION HABIT
open scene on a Saturday in August 2019: it is 11am in my co-working space. Nobody else is here, because – Saturday. I am ashen-faced in front of a laptop, eyeball twitching from caffeine, wearing open-toed wedges and a tea dress with a mischievous thigh-slit. Outside, the wind ‘awooo!’ howls and horizontal rain thumps the window. I have been in the office for 23 hours. I dressed for yesterday’s scorching sun, and now I have to do a walk of shame; my second of the week.
I have a ‘Yes, I can do that, absolutely!’ habit. It’s out before I can stuff it back into my mouth, given a competitive mania that sees me alienate friends over pool tables, and the kind of evermore ambitious drive that could power a small country.
Thankfully, I have a holiday planned. Then, I spend five days of it working, given my ‘yesicandothat’ reflex. ‘I’m burnt out,’ I find myself wailing to my friend. ‘Who’s that dude who singed his wings and tumbled into the ocean because he tried to fly too high? Icarus! I’m Icarus!’ She contains her eye-roll at my melodrama and gently points out that this is my own fault. Nobody else’s.
I sit by the pool and write myself a letter. Promising myself that 2020 will be different. No 80-hour weeks, no all-nighters… and that I’ll only do a TED talk if the practise of it doesn’t trigger existential anxiety.
Not only do I want to work less, I want to earn less, having deep-dived into a fascinating pool of research, which showed that beyond around £60,000, there is no increase in wellbeing. Say what?! Some studies even show a decrease.
This year, I want to stay in the middle lane, delete my office address from my Deliveroo account, and quit having face-on-desk power naps in the ‘quiet room’. My pedal is coming off the metal, I’ll be putting my shoulder to it less, and my balls are going nowhere near that wall. Come join me. Let’s cruise. Catherine’s book about happy middle-lane living, ‘The Unexpected Joy Of The Ordinary’, (£14.99, Aster), is out now
Do you follow influencers who look great, but actually make you feel bad about your body? Does seeing someone’s perfect grid of their stylish, millennial pink-hued homes and expertly shot avocado on toast make you green with envy? Do yourself a favour and click unfollow.
Life coach @Lucysheridan started #Thegoodgram hashtag, encouraging others to feel more confident on social media and seek positive, enriching connections. Since its launch, it’s been used more that 4,000 times. And there are plenty more accounts that will leave you feeling lifted not lessened, if you seek them out. Here are a few that might work for you...
1. @humansofny
Followers: 9.7m
Rightly a phenomenon for its thousands of anonymous interviews with people on the streets of New York, this Insta – started by photographer Brandon Stanton – gives insight into strangers’ lives; at turns uplifting, tear-jerking and funny, too.
2. @myfrugalyear
Followers: 30k
Feeling broke after Christmas? Or all the time? You’re not alone, as this anonymous – and beautifully presented – account details how one woman is paying off £25k of credit card debt and a £2k overdraft, offering advice and thoughts on financial wellbeing along the way.
3. @bodyposipanda
Followers: 1.2m
Megan Jayne Crabb takes on diet culture in her colourful, thoughtful feed – including unpacking her own success. ‘Every platform I’m given is because I don’t fall too far outside the boundaries of what our culture sees as acceptable – in the way I look, the way I speak and the way I exist in the world,’ she told followers recently, encouraging them ‘to go further’.
4. @estherthewonderpig Followers: 586k
The world’s most famous pig won’t make you feel bad – nor will any of the growing band of ‘petfluencers’, especially rescues like Esther (a ‘micro’ piglet who grew to 600lbs, now living in bliss with her friends, including Cornelius the turkey, on a farm sanctuary).
5. @i_weigh
Followers: 971k
Founded by Jameela Jamil as a means for women to express their worth in ways totally unrelated to their weight, this account now explores ‘radical inclusivity’. Complete with book club – sample read: The Truth Will Set You Free, But First It Will
by feminist legend Gloria Steinem.