Meet the Millennial Bridget Jones
From egg freezing to casual drug-taking, diarist and podcaster Liz Beardsell reveals all. Jessica Barrett meets the new voice of a generation
on new year’s eve 2014, Liz Beardsell opened her two decades’ worth of diaries to read extracts to a room full of people for the first time. ‘I had this new group of friends I’d made in Dalston, east London, after splitting up with my boyfriend of 11 years, and they’d invited me along on their New Year trip,’ she recalls. ‘I sent them an email saying, “Choose a date between 1994 and 2014 and I’ll read that diary extract aloud.” And on the trip I read to them for a bit of fun. Their reaction had a real impact – they told me I could really tell stories and that gave me a buzz.’
Five years on Liz, 38, has opened up the diaries, which she has been keeping for 26 years, to a much wider audience with her podcast, Diary, She Wrote. She hasn’t edited out any entries to protect herself: these are a no-holds barred account of her whole life since she was a teenager, from the vaginismus that affected her long-term relationship, to casual drug-taking, an explicit exploration of her sex life and her one-night stands post-break-up.
‘I wasn’t nervous – weirdly,’ Liz tells Grazia of the lead-up to releasing the first of the podcast episodes (there are eight in total). ‘This feels strangely comfortable to me, even though people seem to think I’m so brave. I’ve always written every day – aside from taking a break for a festival or something – and that’s just normal to me.’
The podcast consists of various dates from Liz’s diaries over the years, edited together to create stories that arc across an episode. One, for example, tells the story of an on-off relationship with ‘Dexter’ (names were changed to protect privacy; Dexter was named after the character in Liz’s favourite book, One Day); another about a casual hook-up whose number she had to block, then unblock to tell her she’d tested for chlamydia, then block again; and another about her journey through grief after her dad died when she was 15.
The podcasts are simultaneously compelling, reassuringly mundane and almost uneasily voyeuristic as you hear about her trying not to fart during sex, or taking coke with a guy she’s met in the pub and having sex in the bath. They’re relatable too, in a way that Girls always was, particularly when it comes to dating as a 30-something in a big city: the fun online dates, followed by the loss of hope, the waiting for a text after a date and the joy of doing exactly what you want to do will ring true for many of us.
Liz admits she was worried about her mum listening to some of them, as well as the effect on her career in event production, which has seen her work for brands such as Cath Kidston, Topshop and Benefit. She needn’t have worried though, because the response has been overwhelmingly positive.
Comparisons to Bridget Jones are flattering, says Liz, who adds, ‘A comparison to anything that phenomenal is an absolute compliment. One review said I was a “new voice for 30-something ladies”. Things like this are making me well up.’
As a 38-year-old woman who has decided to freeze her eggs (something Liz says she will expand on in series two), is happily online dating and is yet to settle down, Liz says she is telling the stories of herself and her friends, something she hasn’t seen much representation of. ‘Very few of my friends have kids. Some of them have moved away and settled down, but the people who
still live this life with me are enjoying it. You’re getting enjoyment from friends rather than going down [the marriage] route and I want to tell those stories.’
Broadcasting your inner thoughts and most personal moments on itunes and Spotify isn’t something many of us would consider doing: but then most of us haven’t kept a diary every day for 26 years either. Having discovered diary-writing as an outlet, Liz says that it felt important to keep it going. ‘It’s my therapy, it’s part of my routine. There are times when I won’t write if I’ve gone away or something. But if I don’t write I feel some kind of anxiety building up because I don’t let out my feelings or emotions. I’m confident I’ll do it for the rest of my life.
‘I’ve learned about the craft of diary writing,’ she continues. ‘I don’t need to write that I went to Sainsbury’s; sometimes it’s a couple of lines, other times if I know it’s a significant day I will dedicate proper time to it and make sure I include all my thoughts and feelings. I’d love to inspire a generation of diary-writers. I believe it’s really helped my mental health. Writing helps you to learn more about yourself, especially your emotions.’
Liz says she loves that when she looks back on certain days, she can spot when she met someone who was going to change her life, or be in it forever, although she had no idea at the time. ‘It’s one of my favourite things,’ she adds.
Documenting your dating life isn’t always going to be smooth sailing and Liz says she worries that she’s causing problems for herself, especially now she’s working on series two. ‘I’m still doing online dating and that’s a bit odd now,’ she says. ‘There’s one guy I’m chatting to at the moment and I told him about the podcast, and he downloaded it and listened to it. Am I ever going to have sex again? We’ll have to see...’