Conception in the time of corona

There may be talk of a Covid baby boom, but our Life After Lockdown research* has revealed that three in five women planning on having children have delayed or put off their plans entirely. Sarah Rainey reports

‘we’d been trying for a baby for two months before lockdown started,’ says Becky Simpson. ‘I knew it wouldn’t happen immediately but there was always a glimmer of hope. Then, when the announcement came, all the excitement I’d been feeling turned to fear. What if I was pregnant already? What if I got ill? What if the baby got ill? I had this awful sinking sensation.’

Becky, 36, and husband James, 35, who’ve been married for two years, had waited until the time was right to start trying for a family. In January, they moved from their London flat to a three-bedroom house in Kent, where Becky, a history teacher, took a job at a local secondary school.

But then along came coronavirus and put their plans on hold. ‘This was supposed to be a special time,’ she says. ‘Now I’m torn between wanting a baby and worrying myself sick about getting pregnant – hardly a great recipe for trying to conceive.’

In these uncharted times, Becky isn’t the only woman facing this dilemma, as Grazia’s recent Life After Lockdown research, compiled with Instagram, revealed. We found three in five women have delayed or put off having children completely. Some are worried about their finances; others about the idea of relying on an overstretched NHS – and indeed the ethics of providing a further burden. Up and down the country, tens of thousands have been caught at different points on the path to parenthood, whether trying, pregnant, undergoing IVF, freezing eggs or about to give birth.

While experts have said that carrying a baby could weaken the immune system and so place pregnant women on the high-risk list, the waters are far muddier around fertility, a subject already fraught with emotion and red tape.

Couples haven’t officially been told to stop trying, but experts suggest it may be unwise to plan a pregnancy during lockdown – for practical reasons.

‘Both the Royal College of Obstetricians & Gynaecologists and the Royal College of Midwives advise against pregnancy at this time as a lot of NHS services are reduced,’ explains Dr Linda Bryceland, clinical director of Private Midwives. ‘Our advice would be to wait until the situation settles and access to healthcare services is restored.’

Fertility expert Zita West says there’s the added complication of overlapping symptoms, with a fever being a sign of early pregnancy and of Covid-19. ‘I’m telling people to avoid trying for a baby right now as, if anything were to go wrong in the first 12 weeks, as can often happen, the NHS is already under such strain it could be dangerous for you to need emergency treatment,’ she says. ‘One of the biggest factors in fertility issues is stress, and many people are extremely stressed, so it would also be more beneficial to wait until you have a clearer idea of what’s going on in your life.’

For those already pregnant, experts say there’s no cause for concern – if they do catch Covid-19, most will experience only mild or moderate flu-like symptoms, and there’s no evidence it can pass to the baby during pregnancy or birth. There are special procedures in place for those who go into labour while self-isolating, including being met on arrival at the hospital and given a surgical mask to wear throughout.

As for antenatal care, routine scans and appointments are still happening, but not all are face to face. Some women report being asked to check in with their midwife by telephone or video call, while others have had to attend scans on their own, which can be a lonely and upsetting experience.

Policies on birth partners vary, with most hospitals allowing just one person – and sometimes only for the final stage of labour – and banning partners from staying overnight. For first-time mothers especially, it’s far from the rosy introduction to motherhood they’d imagined or hoped for.

Sky News presenter Sarah-jane Mee, who is 31 weeks pregnant with her first child, had planned to give birth at St Thomas’ Hospital in London, but is now considering a home birth if restrictions haven’t been loosened by the time her baby comes.

‘As it stands, I have to go in for all my hospital appointments alone,’ explains Sarah-jane, 41. ‘Recently, I had a scan and it was quite a daunting experience. The staff couldn’t have been kinder or more empathetic, but they were all wearing PPE and face masks and that made it impersonal.

‘I’m not sure I want that when I go into labour. I’ve also been told that my fiancé, Ben, won’t be allowed in until the final stages – and that really scares me. As I’m having a healthy pregnancy, I’m fortunate that a home birth is an option. So, I’ve ordered a birthing pool and I’ve started hypnobirthing classes online. It’s given me a much more positive attitude towards labour, rather than the nagging doubt that I might have to go it alone.’

As for making friends with other parentsto-be, that too is very different to what she’d planned. ‘We’re doing a Bump & Baby Club class online, meeting other local couples on Zoom,’ Sarah-jane explains. ‘We keep saying it’ll be great when we can all meet, but who knows when that will be?’

Lesley Gilchrist, co-founder of My Expert Midwife, says care for pregnant women remains a ‘priority’ and predicts that ante- and post-natal classes will return before long. ‘Some NHS trusts could choose to hold one-to-one classes, thereby limiting the risk, or to hold these classes in much smaller groups than before,’ she says.

For those undergoing fertility treatment – estimated to be at least 50,000 British couples – the situation is more complex still. All UK IVF clinics closed their doors on 15 April, leaving many patients in an agonising limbo. Some clinics have now been able to reopen, provided that they meet strict safety requirements, including having the appropriate social distancing measures in place. This might include couples waiting in the carpark until it is their turn to see a doctor, thus making a process many couples already find stressful even more fraught.

While the Government recently extended the 10-year storage limit for frozen embryos, eggs and sperm by two years to help those undergoing fertility treatment during the pandemic, this comes as little comfort to those desperate to start a family now, not later. Others, dealing with loss of income and other changing circumstances, face the cruel reality of simply running out of money.

Dr James Nicopoullos, consultant gynaecologist at The Lister Fertility Clinic, advises couples to try not to panic about any delays. ‘The stress and anxiety of infertility can be overwhelming enough without the added burden of Covid-19,’ he says. ‘It’s really important to reiterate that a two- to three-month delay in treatment, however difficult that is, will only minimally affect success rates.’

For couples who’ve had babies during lockdown, there is, of course, a bouncing bundle of joy to take their mind off the doom and gloom. But with limited face-toface support from midwives, coffee dates with other new parents off the cards, and their own families advised to steer clear, it’s a far-from-perfect start to parenthood.

‘I can’t even see my own mum,’ says Gail Barker, 34, whose son George was born last month. ‘She stood outside the window the day we came home from hospital and we both just cried. We Facetime every day but it’s not the same. My partner is here but he’s working five days a week so there’s nobody to hold the baby while I have a cup of tea.’

Meanwhile, for women like Becky who so desperately want to conceive, the thought of holding a baby has never felt more distant. ‘I’m not getting any younger,’ she says. ‘We don’t know how long this is going to last but, right now, it feels like forever.’ *Life After Lockdown research was commissioned with Grazia’s Where’s Your Head At campaign and Instagram

Having a scan alone was daunting; the staff were all wearing PPE and masks