CHART OF LUST

1. Up KANYE WEST

‘A vision just came to me…’ he tweeted. ‘…Jesus Tok.’ He’d got ‘disturbed’ as a ‘Christian father’ while perusing Tiktok with North; was visited by an alternative.

2. Non-mover THE DMC

Daisy May Cooper, whose Instagram feed is a compelling argument in favour of social media. Her #whatcanyoufit underyourtits challenge is a case in point.

3. Up HALLE BERRY’S FEET

Centre of intrigue regarding her love life, after they were Instagrammed entwined with the feet of another! More news of HB’S feet, as we get it.

4. Up AMANDA PEET

We’ve only watched one ep of the new series of Dirty John so far (Netflix), but it was enough to remind us how pretty AP is. Also, top ’80s ensembles throughout.

5. New in RORY FLECK BYRNE

Harlots is screening on iplayer and YOU ARE WELCOME. So far, our lust belongs to Daniel Marney, played by this fella. YOU ARE WELCOME.

6. New in GLENNON DOYLE

Inspirational speaker, life coach, made Adele’s soul scream. We were wary, too – then we googled her life story. It is extraordinary! Juicy.

7. New in ADIL RAY

Of GMB fame. Showing great potential in the slightly-rogue-anchorman stakes. Last week, accused weather person Laura Tobin of burping just before going live.

8. Up WILL SMITH

May well reprise his character in the gritty dramatic reboot of The Fresh Prince Of Bel-air, the trailer for which is all anyone’s googling RN. He may not. No one knows.

9. Up THE LOOSE WOMEN FEUD

Denise Welch unfollows Coleen Nolan on the socials, after Coleen’s manager called Nadia Sawalha a ‘witch’. Loose!

10. New in KAE TEMPEST

The poet, formerly known as ‘Kate’, has declared themselves non binary. Wrote Running Upon The Wires, one of our fave poems.