Get ready for re-entry
The last 12 months have been a marathon but the finish line is in sight. Here, a host of experts share all the insights, advice and tips you need to make sure you’re ready for living IRL again
throughout the last year, some of us have revelled in the solace provided by our four walls, while others have fantasised about escaping them – but all of us are out of the habit of navigating our usual social lives. Whether the pandemic has brought relief at stepping off the roller coaster and you fear getting back on, or what had become mere wilting embers of social anxiety are sparking back into full-blown flames, these tips will help you brave the social waters successfully.
1. WAVE OFF COMPARISON
Don’t forget, we all have a ‘behind the scenes’ reality to our social-facing selves. How someone else appears to be coping socially is not a measure of your journey.
2. STEP IT UP SLOWLY
Consider the social part of you as a muscle that needs gentle toning before you lift the heavy weights. So, as opportunities arise, schedule in time to regroup and recalibrate.
3. ALLOW ALL EMOTIONS
Your emotions are valid and the more you try to beat them down, the more guilt you will feel. Name the feeling to yourself and follow it with ‘and that’s OK’.
4. RECOGNISE YOUR EVERCHANGING CAPACITY
The energy you have available to you changes each day and will impact what you feel comfortably able to face socially. Social interactions will require more energy than normal because they have a newness to them!
5. USE AN ANTI-ANXIETY TOOLKIT
Should you feel a wave of anxiety rising, use some grounding tools to help calm your heightened nervous system. Count back from 100 in threes (100, 97, 94...) to halt any overthinking, and use a simple breathing exercise – such as, in for four, hold for seven, out for eight – to give your body the signal that you are safe.
6. NAME AND CLAIM YOUR AWKWARDNESS
Open up about how you’re feeling to those you’re with! Hear friends sigh with relief as they feel permission to drop the mask and be more open about how they truly feel.
7. PRESS PAUSE
When you receive an invitation, even if it’s something you’d love to do, say, ‘Let me check the diary, I’ll get back to you.’ Doing so gives you a moment to look over the bigger picture of your week to gauge how it might fit – not just logistically, but mentally. And if it’s a ‘no’ for you, don’t over-explain. Instead, say, ‘I’m trying not to pack in too much, but I have a less busy week soon.’
8. RECOGNISE THAT FRIENDSHIPS HAVE CHANGED
Challenging times test relationships – while some friendships may have deepened, others may have drifted over the last year. Seek the company of those you can be open and honest with. Perhaps there are some awkward conversations ahead – and you won’t be the only one facing them – but when approached with honesty and gentleness (towards yourself and others), the outcome can only be less complicated.
Finally, treat yourself with compassion. Slow and steady is the kind, respectful way to proceed – even though social media might have you feeling you should be ripping off the social plaster. Developing a respect and sensitivity for the limits of your mental, emotional, social and physical resources will help you navigate the next few months, and the rest of your life.