Grazia life advice… Alesha Dixon

GRAZIA LIFE ADVICE

Every week on the Grazia Life Advice podcast, women worth listening to pass on their best advice to navigating modern life. Here, singer-songwriter, author and Britain’s Got Talent judge Alesha Dixon shares hers…

1

Support other women in life and work. This has always been important to me. At the beginning of my career, I was in the girl group Mis-teeq. That was all about being a team player and there is nothing more beautiful than seeing people align with one another. There is this negative trait that tries to creep into humanity, which is jealousy. It only does damage to yourself. I’ve found that in the moments where I’ve been able to be genuinely happy for somebody else’s success, I empower myself in that way, too.

2

Understand that families come in different shapes and sizes. When I was growing up, I’d look at a family that had mum, dad and children all together and feel envious that I never had that. All of us have had that moment where we think, ‘OK, I’m going to view my parents as human beings, not as Mum and Dad,’ and you recognise that all of us are just trying to figure life out. I’ve tried to embrace [my family] and realise that it’s made me who I am.

3

Introduce your children to diverse books, music and films, and make it a part of everyday life. I try to expose my daughter to as many different things as possible. At the moment, she’s got a book on her bedside table about Black women in history. I don’t force it on her but, every now and then, I’ll say, ‘Oh, let’s pick a woman to read about today,’ and we might read about an amazing dental nurse or politician. We do it in a subtle way and I think that’s a nice way to do it.

4

My fourth piece of advice is about always pursuing your passion. When I chose to go into the music industry, my dad said, ‘No, you can’t do it,’ whereas my mum’s response was,

‘If this is your passion, you must pursue it.’ That’s really what drove me because I thought, yes, music is what I’m gravitating towards and I’m going to follow that instinct. So, I always say follow your passions; you have one life, just make the most of it. Don’t ever get to that place in life where you realise you didn’t give yourself a chance.

5

Take the opportunities that life gives you. It comes back to doing something that feels authentic to you. If an opportunity comes my way and it doesn’t feel right, there’s a resistance and I can feel it. I find myself saying no to a lot of things more than I say yes. I’m mindful of only applying myself to things that physically and mentally feel good. Listen to that voice. Listen to that internal instinct and, hopefully, you’ll make the right decision.

6

Your mental wellbeing should always come first. The biggest challenge for most people is trying to live a balanced life without being overwhelmed by stress or baggage from the past. For me, the tools to help are working out, being healthy, practising mindfulness and being present. There are lots of things that I do that contribute to staying in the positive space I’m in.

AND THE WORST PIECE OF ADVICE…

My dad wanted me to be an accountant or a stockbroker and discouraged me from being a teacher, which was terrible advice. Oh, and ‘Don’t get into the music industry because Black people won’t sell any music in the UK’ – that was terrible advice. I’m glad I didn’t listen to that. The good news is people can give you advice, but you don’t have to listen to it. Stick to your own compass and do what feels right for you.

Alesha’s novel, ‘Girls Rule’, is out now