TAKING THE BISCUIT
It’s time to eat your words as The Great British Bake Off returns. dishes up memorable quotes from the hit show
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THE Great British Bake Off is back on Channel 4 on Tuesday with Matt Lucas, right, joining the show which has become famous for its puns and innuendos over the years. He has said he cannot wait to tuck into the hit show and said “bearing in mind my love of cake, I’ve already ordered much larger trousers in anticipation”.
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BAKING queen Mary Berry, right, was the first to utter the words “Soggy bottom” and it become her
Bake Off catchphrase over the years for undercooked cakes and pastries that were still raw underneath.
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EVEN fellow judge Paul Hollywood, below, did not escape Mary’s disapproval. The Wallasey-born baker was once firmly told “We don’t do that in the south, you know” after he dared to dunk a
Jaffa cake into his tea during biscuit week.
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PAUL is the master of the put-down and over the years has said of various bakes: “it looks straight from the 1970s”, “it’s like chewing wallpaper” and “it looks like a rough plasterer’s job”. Mary told one poor contestant that his chocolate cakes were “lovely if you don’t look at them too closely”.
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THERE have been numerous innuendoes over the years about hot buns, dough balls, nuts and cream. Mary once innocently told a contestant:
“Oh no, you have some irregularshaped b***s” and in another show revealed to the viewers that Paul “loves his buns”.
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FORMER presenter Sue Perkins, pictured with fellow presenter Mel Giedroyc, once said of the judges: “Paul and Mary have asked for perfect fermentation, perfect dough, perfect crumb structure ... how perfectly irritating of you both.”
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PAST winner Nadiya Hussain, below, defiantly said during the show “If I’m going down, I’m going down making fortune cookies” while mildmannered 2018 winner Rahul Mandal even apologised to Paul because his baking was too good to criticise.
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NOEL FIELDING and Sandi Toksvig outdid themselves in the punning stakes when they sent judges Paul and Prue Leith out of the tent for one challenge after the show moved from the BBC to Channel 4. They are going drag racing,” Noel informed the contestants. “It’s the PruePaul Drag Race,” quipped
Sandi.
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NOEL has certainly kept things lively with his collection of shirts and his clock countdowns for the contestants. He once merrily informed them “Bakers, unfortunately time
is no illusion”.
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OF course, actions speak louder than words and, when it comes to shameless scene stealing, nothing beats the saucy, well-endowed squirrel who flashed the TV cameras back in 2011. Fans were outraged when the entertaining rude rodent was later replaced in the title sequence by a colourful and much more pleasant pheasant instead.
STEPS have a habit of popping up when things get tough. The 90s pop superstars reunited for the first time in 2017, just after the United Kingdom made its momentous decision to leave the European Union.
Now Claire Richards, Lee Latchford-Evans, Lisa Scott-Lee, Faye Tozer and Ian “H” Watkins are back again – this time amid the coronavirus pandemic.
“It’s the right time for us and the right time for the world,” attests Lisa over video call.
“People need a bit of Steps sparkle in their lives after what has been a very tough time for everybody – all industries worldwide. “It is great we can be hopeful and look forward and just have that escapism through music.”
Lisa and bandmates H and Lee are huddled around a laptop in a central London bar.
Steps are doing interviews, some in person but socially distanced, others virtually, ahead of the release of their sixth studio album, fittingly titled What The Future Holds. Known for their catchy pop-dance tracks combined with easy-toimitate routines, their 90s heyday saw them climb the charts with hits including Heartbeat, Tragedy, Deeper Shade of Blue and Stomp. This new chapter comes three years after their first comeback in 2017 spawned a number two album, Tears on the Dancefloor. Launch day was originally planned for March but the band aborted, last moment, as the ramifications of coronavirus in the UK became clear.
“We were all ready to go,” recalls Lisa, who lives in Dubai where she runs a performing arts school. “Everything was recorded. Suitcases were packed. I was about to fly to the UK. And then literally the day before, we were told it wasn’t going to be possible.
“It was disappointing... but safety comes first. In hindsight it has worked out well. It feels like it is the right time for us. Because of the single being called What The Future Holds – a lot of people will relate to it.”
H, the band’s biggest personality, is hyperactive after being cooped up indoors all day.
“We never take for granted what we do,” he says.
“Because we have been around for so long we have seen peaks and troughs in the music industry. “The game has changed. We have a fantastic team around us that has their finger on the pulse. We have to trust them because I still don’t understand how streaming works.” Steps’ big comeback single, which gives the album its title, was written by Sia, the Australian superstar behind hits like Chandelier and Elastic Heart.
A bona fide dance-pop anthem, the track features a suitably bombastic chorus and camp, futuristic music video.
“We’ve got some smashes on there,” says Lee of the album. “This album takes you on a journey whereas Tears on the Dancefloor was more like a bullet train. It just went and did not stop. “This is bit more sophisticated and also throws you back to the big ballads of the Steps days, which is really amazing.”
Steps have also recruited woman of the moment Sophie Ellis-Bextor, who captured the nation’s hearts with her Kitchen Discos during lockdown, as their touring warmup act.
“I loved them,” exclaims H when asked about those sessions, in which Ellis-Bextor filmed herself performing her hits as well as classics from home.
“She was literally multi-tasking. That was a masterclass. It’s the perfect marriage.”
Of the five members, H has commanded the most attention since their last reunion, competing on Dancing On Ice with professional skater Matt Evers as part of the ITV show’s first same-sex pairing. When he was eventually eliminated, H issued the BBC and Strictly Come Dancing a challenge: “It’s your turn next.”
And a week before our conversation, the broadcaster responded, announcing boxer Nicola Adams as the show’s first celebrity to feature in a same-sex pairing.
“They were under pressure anyway but I just wanted to press that button a little bit more – a little bit harder,” recalls H. “It’s right they did do it. The world has changed... and the BBC need to reflect that. “I fought so hard for Matt and I to do that, but ITV championed me all the way. Right behind me. “Nicola is going to smash it. She is a power house. And I am going to be there cheering her on.”
Lisa leans in conspiratorially. “I have to add that me and my fellow Steps are very proud of H,” she says.
“Very proud indeed.”
People need a bit of Steps sparkle in their lives after what has been a very tough time for everybody... It’s really been an unprecedented time.
Steps’ Lisa Scott-Lee
What The Future Holds is out on November 27. Steps embark on a UK arena tour in November and December 2021.