All I want for Christmas is a transparent toaster - or a submarine
The Cosmic Shambles Network is unwrapping a 24-hour online show. MARION McMULLEN gets festive with a few of those taking part
A24-HOUR seasonal smorgasbord of science, comedy, music and more is to be broadcast live online to the world to bring some much needed festive cheer and raise money for charity.
SHere, just a few of the performers tell us about their Christmas.
ROBIN INCE: Comedian, writer and show host What would be your perfect Christmas present?
AS I had a telescope a few years ago I think a microscope then, like my grandfather, I can peer at the Stilton and refuse to eat it until it waves back at me. How are you hoping to spend Christmas this year?
ALL the great traditions – looking at the night sky to see the International Space Station fly by bringing joy to the children of the world, trying to find a Lego piece that is tiny but vital and climbing into the back of the cupboard to find a bottle of liqueur that no one can remember buying but is in the shape of a gondola.
JOSIE LONG: Comic What would be your perfect Christmas present? A vaccine and then a massive party! How are you hoping to spend Christmas this year? LISTENING to the Moana soundtrack with my two-year-old daughter and running round the house.
GINNY SMITH: Science radio and TV presenter and performer What would be your perfect Christmas present?
I HAVE a bit of a thing for sciencethemed fashion, particularly brain related. I’m always looking to add to my collection of molecule earrings, brain-cell necklaces, and neuron-print dresses. How are you hoping to spend Christmas this year?
CHRISTMAS this year is going to be a strange one for everyone.
My husband and I recently moved to Singapore and were planning on having Christmas somewhere exciting and tropical – maybe Bali, or a Thai island – but travel restrictions means that’s not possible. They also mean that I now haven’t seen my family for nearly 10 months. So, if I could have anything, it would be to give my parents and gran a hug.
As it is, we will most likely still be in Singapore for Christmas, but we will do our best to make it feel special by cooking our favourite festive treats – even if mince pies in 30 degree heat might take a bit of getting used to!
BEC HILL: Australian comic What would be your perfect Christmas present?
SNOW! I have never experienced a White Christmas. How are you hoping to spend Christmas this year?
I’M hoping it will be snowy enough that I will be able to complain about it, at which point I will be accepted as a “true Brit”.
BOBBY SEAGULL: Former University Challenge contestant, of TV’s Monkman & Seagull’s Genius Guide to Britain What would be your perfect Christmas present?
QUIZMASTER Jeremy Paxman coming round to to host our own postChristmas lunch University Challenge! How are you hoping to spend Christmas this year?
IF we’re still under lockdown, then maybe I can attempt a challenge of 24 hours straight of marking school maths papers with a five minute break every hour to watch Christmas University Challenge.
DR HELEN CZERSKI: Physicist, oceanographer and broadcaster What would be your perfect Christmas present?
A TRANSPARENT toaster. I’m all in favour of being able to see inside things to see how they work, and apparently someone has worked out how to do this with a toaster. Just imagine how satisfying it would be. And no more burnt toast. Or (if someone really wanted to splash out) my own submarine – also transparent, obviously – so I could park on the ocean floor and watch what goes past.
■ The 24-hour Christmas special Nine Lessons And Carols For Socially Distanced People starts on December 12 and features guest appearances by Eric Idle, Professor Brian Cox, Sophie Ellis-Bextor and more.