Getting birthday boy to dress up as monk

THE first weekend in October saw us in Wales at Ruthin Castle for FJ’s* birthday. It was a medieval banquet and costume was optional. Mr F made a great monk, and seeing him negotiate his skirts was a hoot. I was in red velvet and wimple but, having bought it from an Amazon fancy dress site, I wasn’t surprised to spot a woman dressed identically, as soon as we arrived.

My new twin turned away embarrassed but I just muttered ‘snap’ as I passed. Always best to brazen it out.

A bit of the headdress went under my chin like a posh bandage, which I thought rather fetching until FJ’s brother-in-law said he hoped my toothache would be better soon.

The meal for we non-meat eaters was good: four courses, starting with a yummy vegetable soup and ending with a rich lemon posset.

Sadly the carnivores – most of our 30-strong party – were served with underdone chicken, which resulted in cross exchanges with the duty manager.

Eating was done with hands and daggers, which was fine until it came to the coleslaw. Thankfully Mr F had concealed plastic forks in his cossie.

After some singing by a group of comely wenches, it was announced that I had won the limerick competition. I’d almost forgotten we had been set this challenge over pre-dinner drinks. My prize was a purple quill biro.

We all sang There’ll be a Welcome in the Hillside before setting off, but attempts at Land of Hope and Glory by Mr F, me, and a couple from Manchester, quickly petered out.

Going home in the taxi, I was sitting in the front and chatted to the Welsh driver about the recent Scottish referendum and independence in general. I’d had a few drinks but I vaguely recall FJ (who was dressed as a wench with mob cap) hissing at me from the back seat: “Mum, are you talking politics? Please don’t get us thrown out of the taxi.”

SIL**, dressed as an apothecary and clutching some odd potions, was so quick to get out after paying that he left a stuffed rat in the cab. I hope that wasn’t seen as a gesture from his English passengers.

Email me! bmailbarbara@ gmail.com and catch up at www.getwestlondon.co.uk/authors/ barbara-fisher/ * **