Get enough specs

I’D JUST had one of my regular forays into Poundland. My haul this time consisted of two Jane Asher dishes, a stapler, lots of stationery, freezer bags and some cranberry, yoghurty snacky things.

Oh... And a pair of tinted specs for reading in the garden. All for less than a tenner.

I wear contact lenses but for close reading I need extra help so I buy bundles of off-the-peg specs from Poundland.

My specs of many colours are everywhere. In the kitchen, on my keyboard, stuffed in pockets and bags; even in my car’s overcrowded glove compartment which is more of a stale-crisp, old lipstick and tepid bottled water compartment.

The stigma of such shops has disappeared – even my optician has given her blessing to these cheap specs. But maybe that’s because I’ve kept her happy by paying a small fortune for prescription varifocals to be worn on lens-free days.

Pound shops are pulling in shoppers of all social classes – recent research from retail consultancy Him! showed that 57 per cent of British shoppers use discount stores every week. Over half of these are from middle and high income households, up from 37 per cent a year ago.

Anyway, there I was clutching my bargains, when I stepped into the Pavilions Shopping Centre to be greeted by a sparkly set of tap-dancing pensioners.

I had stumbled on the Hillingdon Volunteer Fair organised by Hillingdon Advice for Residents Partnership (HARP) and Hillingdon Association of Voluntary Services (HAVS).

Bus Pass to Broadway was the name of the singing dancing oldies, and I, and my many carrier bags, were happy to join the crowds where I tapped my non-twinkly toes in time to the showtunes.

I was told there is an urgent need for volunteer welfare benefit claim assistants so if you can help, contact Nancy Rawlings or Verity Lomas: Email: HARP@havs.org. uk or call 01895 442722. Full training and support given.

Follow-up tests after Mr F’s emergency op in April revealed he has probably got Addison’s disease (low cortisol levels) which can follow trauma.

He may be advised to wear a medic-alert bracelet in case of any future emergencies.

Pondering on this we had great fun deciding which of his other characteristics could also be engraved on it. My favourite would be ‘pedant’.

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