If you’ve got a cold, consider yourself...

HAVE you had the horrible cough and cold which has been doing the rounds? Everywhere I go people seem to be sneezing and wheezing. If they’re not suffering themselves, they’re talking about other people who are.

Mr F has had a nasty dose of the bug which has meant a full fortnight of him feeling really rough.

Having booked a hotel and theatre seats for a party of friends and relatives to see our friend in a show in Leicester, I was worried we weren’t going to make it.

It would have been very unlucky and ridiculously bad timing as this excellent production of Oliver! has been playing to packed houses since November 27 and ended on Saturday.

I was therefore relieved to find ourselves travelling up the M1 on our way to The Curve Theatre. While chatting about John who was playing Mr Brownlow, animal lover FJ*, said she was also keen to see the dog playing Bulls-eye.

How disappointing then, when no bull terrier appeared with Bill Sikes, even though dogs with names like Rupert, Spike, Mr Crunch and Alfie, were named in the programme.

We asked John about it afterwards and he explained that one had to be pulled on; another dragged off. One kept barking, and a real diva was so excited by the whole thing that it kept pooing on the stage. They were replaced by a barking sound effect.

Snow was falling as we headed for an after-show drink. By the time we returned to our hotel it had settled and the city centre was looking very Dickensian.

Right on cue, and close to midnight, noisy urchins had taken over the streets. I found myself imagining them bursting into song: hopefully, Consider Yourself at Home, and not – as we’d just heard that one of the cast was mugged at a cash machine during the run – Got to Pick a Pocket or Two.

I’ve just watched Russell Grant on a panel dissecting the day’s news. Talking about his education in the 1950s and 1960s, Russell said he would have got a place at Vyners School in Ickenham, which was then a grammar school, but wasn’t able to take it because only a certain number of children from Harefield were allowed places.

Do you know of anyone else who passed the 11-plus but had the same experience? *FJ= Fisher Junior