‘Whatever time you have left, celebrate it’
MUSLIM WOMAN WITH TERMINAL CANCER WANTS SOUTH ASIAN COMMUNITY TO STOP
A MUSLIM woman says her Islamic faith helps her to stay positive since she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.
Sajida, from Hounslow, is also urging members of the South Asian community to stop the stigma around the illness.
The 55-year-old was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2012 when she was 46-years-old, she was fit and healthy and fasting during the month of Ramadan. Sajida says she has always fasted the whole month since she was a teenager and her parents have taught her to follow the five pillars of Islam, of which fasting is one.
Speaking to MyLondon, she said: “I saw a lump in my breast and got it checked and it took a while to get a diagnosis. But I found out in Ramadan and they put me on chemotherapy immediately. It was the last Jummah (Friday) of Ramadan.
“I have family friends who are a great family, the men are Hafiz Quran and they lead taraweehs (night prayers in Ramadan) and their daughters also know so much, so they came to see me, they’re our good friends and they said ‘you need to look after your body and give chemo the best chance of working, so if you’re fasting, maybe reconsider as your body needs to be strong’.
“I was surprised to hear that from an Imam as I thought fasting was going to be a strength for me and he said ‘you have to prepare for chemo’ and looking after your body is Farz (mandatory). So I stopped fasting and gave Fidiyah, I felt guilty that I wasn’t following one of the pillars of Islam and they said that by not fasting and giving someone food, you are helping your body and helping someone in need.
“So I took my strength from that part and I dug deeper into my faith and said everything happens for a reason. This was written for me and I have to not question it.”
From then on, Sajida began to find comfort in the thought that there must be a reason for what she had been going through.
She said finding faith came naturally to her and she thought “this must be beneficial for me, I was 46, fit healthy and there must be a reason for this”.
“Then I sat on my prayer mat and said to Allah to guide me, I had a lot of peace especially when looking for guidance and asking for guidance,” she added.
In 2017 she received a second diagnosis after suffering from pain in her leg.
She still managed to stay relaxed through faith, she said: “The doctors said your leg is about to fracture so don’t put pressure on it – but even then I was relaxed, it’s taken a lot to dig in for the support but whenever I feel down or question things, an hour or half an hour later I calm down and think about it with faith and it remember that no one will leave this world alive.
Sajida finds comfort in Islam, saying: “Life is not meant to be straightforward or fun, we are not here to live peacefully, in the next life it will come easy – as long as we can have good deeds and do something to help others. It has grounded me, made me think a lot.”
In the South Asian community, the word “cancer” is a taboo but Sajida wants to change this and normalise conversations around the illness.
She said: “You can see the horror in someone’s eyes when you say the word cancer, my friend came and expected me to be upset after the diagnosis and she said I was ‘denying it’, she just cried to my mum and I had to make them cup of tea and calm them down!”
Throughout her life, Sajida says she has always been quite blunt and strong, so when it came to the diagnosis she knew she did not want people to feel pity.
With her hair falling out from the chemotherapy side effects, Sajida found it difficult to wear a wig or a scarf especially due to the hot flushes she experienced from the treatment.
“Some people like my mum get upset when they see my head but now she’s used to it,” she explained.
“When I got my hair shaved, people in the supermarket may have stared but I have to do what’s right for me. I’ve lost my hair three or four times and I won’t make myself uncomfortable to please others – I have become quite harsh.
“I understand with kids who get a bit weird, if my nieces come over I say to parents don’t bring them or if you do, then explain the situation as I won’t hide behind a wig.”
With Eid coming up when MyLondon spoke to her, Sajida was hoping to celebrate with family and friends. In the last few years she has not been well enough and has always been in hospital during Eid. This year her chemotherapy is on a Friday so she hopes to be better by Sunday or Monday in time for Eid.
She said usually she does not even shop for Eid, but this year she went shopping herself and bought two outfits for the special day.
She also spoke out about the way people speak about the illness in the South Asian community, she said: “Someone said you’re getting punished, but I see it as a blessing, it’s humbled me , made me focused on what and how we say things. So many people are making dua for me so I must have done something good.
“There is still some anxiety as I am terminally ill but I’m not looking at it like that, we don’t know what’s going to happen this evening so take it like normal life, whatever time you have, celebrate it.”
VIEWING ILLNESS AS TABOO