STRONGER TOGETHER
Bolster your network now and transform your long-term career prospects
How to boost your career through the power of networking
In my twenties, I was constantly attending work events where I hung out with my friends, quaffed champagne and, almost inadvertently, landed the next job. As I have risen through my career, the functions have become more numerous, more glamorous; as I type, I can see a stack of invitations on my desk. But I have become lazy: I’m senior in my organisation; I know exactly what I’m doing, and I’m also under-slept and time-poor. It’s much more tempting to go back home and curl up on the sofa with my family.
At this point, it’s helpful to bear in mind the words of the poet John Donne: ‘No [wo]man is an island entire of itself’. In other words, none of us – however senior, however successful – can thrive in isolation. ‘I’ve always been a believer in the mantra of “work hard and you’ll do well”, but that’s a bit naive,’ admits Tracy de Groose, the UK CEO of the media company Dentsu Aegis Network. ‘You have to invest time in merchandising your successes as well.’
‘Networks are the way we get information, ideas, perspectives, leads for jobs, just about everything,’ says Herminia Ibarra, the professor of organisational behaviour at Insead business school. ‘A sense of belonging, a sense of fun at work – all of that happens through our networks.’
According to Ibarra, while men often network naturally through a shared love of sports, for instance, women are more likely to want to associate with people they feel immediately comfortable with, which can keep their network small and unvaried. And we classically stop networking mid-career, just when it can be most helpful. I stopped going to events after I had a baby. At the time, I was the deputy editor of Bazaar, it was part of my job to be sociable, and the invitations were both tempting and sumptuous; but I wanted, and needed, to be at home with my child after being in the office all day.
Unfortunately, keeping in touch via social media and email is no substitute for face-to-face interactions, warns Heather McGregor, the executive dean of Edinburgh Business School and, for many years, the Financial Times’ Mrs Moneypenny columnist.
‘Because so many people are connected through the internet,
‘I think the more you share, the more comes back to you’
it is difficult to distinguish between them. You need to get out and meet people, whether that’s through a professional body, a private members’ club or finding a charity to support. Even better, take matters into your own hands and organise an event yourself.’ She does this herself: a breakfast, once a month, for six to eight interesting people.
The looming Christmas-party season, with its flurries of invitations and sparkly good cheer, is therefore the ideal time to brush up one’s skills and to continue expanding one’s circle in readiness for the new year ahead.
But how to do it most effectively, and even – impossible dream? – enjoy it? I am not alone in flinching from events where the only goal seems to be what I can get out of it: indeed, as Ibarra observes, research shows that people tend to be fixated on washing and hygiene after networking events, as though the whole experience has made them feel grubby. But networking should never be ‘me, me, me’. ‘It has to be a two-way street. I used to be precious about my contacts but now I think the more you share, the more comes back to you,’ says Hikari Yokoyama, the philanthropist and curator.
Jane Lunnon, the head teacher at Wimbledon High School, and the former deputy head to Anthony Seldon at Wellington College, has always been a natural networker. ‘It’s about sincerity,’ she advises. ‘Proper networking comes from the heart.’
‘People try to talk the big game, and others see through it,’ agrees Julietta Dexter, the CEO of the public-relations company the Communications Store. ‘I never do that. I just try to be me. It’s about having something to say. It’s about being able to contribute to the conversation at any level. That’s hugely important.’
So is preparation. ‘If you show interest in somebody else’s world, nine and a half times out of 10 they will respond very positively.’ Both she and McGregor always ask for advance guestlists to do their homework. ‘I Google everyone,’ says McGregor. ‘You might find something that you have in common and that will give you a great opportunity to strike up a conversation.’ If your research yields nothing useful, she says, ask lots of questions. ‘The person you are talking to will think you are fascinating. It can start as simply as: “Where did you get that dress?”’
And on that subject, one huge advantage women have over men is the chance to show their personality through their clothes. ‘I believe fundamentally in the power and philosophy of fashion,’ says Dexter. ‘Don’t miss that opportunity. When I feel right and can walk into a room on my own, I know I’m me and I’m showing the best of myself.’
Nevertheless, she says she is ‘always nervous’ entering a room of complete strangers. ‘How do I deal with that? I might go up to somebody and say, “I’m sorry, I’m having a terrifying moment”, and people are usually very kind. If you’re really struggling, get a drink at the bar, survey the room, take a deep breath and try again.’
If you make the effort to go to an event, then really throw yourself into it. ‘People sometimes listen to the speaker and then run out when the networking starts,’ says Ibarra. ‘That’s exactly when you should be staying around. You can listen to the talks online. Go to fewer events and stay longer.’
And remember that putting in a bit of effort now will reap benefits in the future. It’s best to start before you need to, says Kirsty Bashforth, the founder and CEO of the management consultancy Quay-Five and Bazaar At Work columnist. ‘There is nothing more off-putting than someone networking because they need something now. You will give off all the wrong vibes. It’s like shopping only when you need an outfit – you won’t find the right one, you’ll buy something because you have to. It’s when you’re not trying that some of the best connections will happen.’