You want to work with people you get on with in the back of a car...
JENNY ECLAIR, 57, IS READY TO TURN SUPERHERO TO SAVE THE WORLD... IF SHE’S ALLOWED TO THROW IN A FEW FART JOKES. MARION McMULLEN FINDS OUT EXACTLY WHAT MAKES A GRUMPY OLD WOMAN
You’re about to unleash new show Grumpy Old Women Live: To The Rescue. What can audiences expect?
WE’RE superheroes and have gone into retirement but might be called out for one last case.
But we’re living on a paradise island practicing extreme colouring-in, our ukelele orchestra and novelty fudge-making and nothing, NOTHING, anyone can do or say can tempt us back to work ... or can they? I certainly can’t ever afford to retire. I’ve no pension.
What’s the atmosphere like at a Grumpy Old Women show?
WHEN we’re on stage it reminds me of being back at a girls’ primary school and there is an assembly going on and someone has farted and there is a slightly embarrassed atmosphere. That’s the atmosphere we want to create.
The tour includes Fascinating Aida’s Dillie Keane and Lizzie Roper of Hollyoaks and Boy Meets Girl fame. Are you all looking forward to working together?
LIZZIE is only just old enough to do it. We might have to wrinkle her up a bit, but I think after 60 dates she might look the part of a Grumpy Old Woman.
Dillie works on her own project, Fascinating Aida, and appeared in the first Grumpy Old Women Live back in 2005 (there have been two other shows Chin Up Britain and Fifty Shades Of Beige since). I’ve always wanted to get her back.
You want to work with people you get on with in the back of a car.
There are rules to being in a car – no egg sandwiches allowed or leftover Indian curry from the night before.
Any other rules for getting along?
IT’S tricky when there’s three because someone always feels left out. You have to watch that.
We are not as hormonal as we used to be, but sometimes you just have to say, ‘You’re getting on my nerves so I’m going to go and be huffy in this corner for a bit’ or ‘I’m not going to be in same dressing room for a few days.’
What does the writing process involve?
JUDITH Holder (best-selling author of the first Grumpy Old Women book and producer of the BBC series) and I get on with the writing.
It’s a completely new script for this tour. Judith lives in Oxford and I live in London and we go back and forth on the computer with re-writes.
She takes out a lot of my swearing – I’m very, very, very keen on swearing – and keeps tabs on how many fart jokes I have written.
You and your partner Geoff married last year after 35 years together. How are you finding married life?
WE’VE survived – for a year at least. It’s paper is it for your first anniversary? That’s nice and cheap.
I’m not actually wearing my wedding ring today. I’ve been painting so I didn’t get it out of its little box.
We did it so the tax man would not take us to the cleaners and it’s neater for our daughter Phoebe if anything happens.
I would encourage people to do it... and to make a will.
Did you worry when Phoebe announced she was interested in writing?
I WORRY over every breath she takes, over everything, and this was just another thing on top of everything else.
She’s a very talented playwright. She’s not done badly, but the only thing that’s less financially viable is being a poet and I know she really wanted to be a poet.
I get angry on her behalf when it comes to writing for TV. They keep changing their minds, but that’s always been the case.
I don’t know how any television programme gets made sometimes.
Would you tour your last solo show, How To Be A Middle Aged Woman (Without Going Insane), again?
I RECENTLY finished the tour after two and a half years but, never say never. I’d like to bring the show back out again really and I have kept all the stuff I need.
I had a glass of wine in the car at the end of the last show – I wasn’t driving. I have a lovely tour manager who lets me talk about myself and never complains.
I played at the Royal Shakespeare Company, Australia, the Royal Festival Hall – some great places.
Is there one thing you always take on tour with you?
I TAKE a sketchbook and watercolours with me and there’s some talk of Dillie and Lizzie bringing dogs. Both of them are dog mad. I might be sitting in the front of the car and they can sit in the back with the dogs. And I’ll eat as much smelly food as I like.
Grumpy Old Women Live: To The Rescue tours from March 28 until June 24. See grumpyoldwomenlive.com for details.