It’s the battle of the babymoons as Binky and JP face off against Beyoncé and Jay Z

The Made In Chelsea couple DON’T want you to know where they are, OK?* (*Say cheese)

We’re not sure if you’ve noticed, but Binky Felstead is pregnant. And what’s the only thing to do when you’re a Chelsea star with child? Go on a babymoon and, if by any chance you got it for free, take 1,493 pictures while on it.

The MIC parents-to-be have logged everything from hammock-lounging in the Maldives to oiled-up massages on a petal-scattered bed (you’ve already made the baby, right?). So, maybe they got a free trip in exchange for posting all those pics, or perhaps this is their equivalent of popping to Butlin’s? Either way, we hope everyone’s seen the shots now, because they’re exhausted from all the posing. Plus, “pregnancy photographer” JP’S gone to hospital with a minor case of repetitive strain injury from all the button pushing.

Devastated there’s not a Gucci shop on the island, Binky thinks if she stares really, really hard into the distance, she’ll be magically transported back to the King’s Road BINK AND YOU’LL MISS IT

Bored and hoping to make a few extra quid, Binky and JP decide to make their own You’ve Been Framed clip and pocket £200 WATCH OUT, BINKY’S ABOUT

COCO-NUTTY BEHAVIOUR “Palm trees! Coconuts! Sand! Sea! Bump! Hot dog legs! Tan enhancer! Just take the damn picture, JP – this coconut is HEAVY”

SHELL ON EARTH Pretending not to miss the free bar, the pair go artsy and decorate a bottle for the new baby, ingeniously inscribing it with “BG” for “Baby Girl” – not “Bring Gin”

Jealous? Us? Never. *weeps*