Tom Cruise gets stuck in a tree

WHERE? A leafy street. WHAT? We had heard that, as the second-highest ranking Scientologist, or “Operating Thetan” to those in the know, Tom Cruise had acquired some paranormal powers – telekinesis and telepathy among them. But levitation? Well, that takes it to a whole new level. Send us a postcard from the spaceship, Tom. SO? If Scientology means avoiding crowds, perhaps it’s not that bad.

“These trampoline shoes are so rad!”