Harry starts new gig as royal jester

WHERE? A tea party at Buckingham Palace.

WHAT? “Sure, you can swing across skyscrapers, scale buildings and thwart mortal enemies with your spidey senses,” Harry scoffed to his crusading chum. “But I have blue blood, mate. I can conjure pudding from thin air. All I do is flex my royal fingers and open wide…”

SO? They waited and waited. And then Spiderman kindly split his cupcake – what a hero.

“If you can shoot real webs, I’ll eat my hands”