Gone To Pot: American Road Trip
ITV, Mon 13, Wed 14 & Fri 15 November, 9pm
Interlull is a phrase football fans use when there’s a break in the exciting run of league games to fit in the much duller international matches, as in, “I’m really bored with the interlull, so I might go see some ballet.” When watching ITV’S new three-parter Gone To Pot, about a bunch of celebrities of a certain age gathering to test out marijuana on a US road trip, I was tempted to coin the word “Jungle-lull”. Because they’re obviously squeezing all the episodes of this frankly less-than-vital series into the schedule before I’m A Celebrity starts the following week. The set-up is pretty random, even by TV celeb travelogue standards. They’ve gathered Birds Of A Feather actress Linda Robson, ex-eastender Pam St Clement, retired footballer John Fashanu, darts dude Bobby George and the great Chris Biggins, to “explore the use of marijuana for both medical and recreational purposes in US states where it is legal”. Like you do. In other words, some TV exec somewhere saw that the BBC’S mature celeb travel show The Real Exotic Marigold Hotel was a smash hit, thought, “We’ll have some of that oldster reality TV action and we can watch them getting out of their brains on pot!” To be fair, it is actually quite amusing to see the assembled famouses smoking puff with a bunch of hippy nuns, while the eternally uptight Fashanu grumbles with disapproval. And it is amazing to see Linda complaining about a manky motel they have to stay in, dubbing it “The Simon Bates Motel”, when presumably she means Norman Bates out of Psycho. But one hour of this stuff is surely more than enough, even in the “Jungle-lull”.
Robert’s certainly got some cojones on him. Despite having a lot on his mind (what with adjusting to life out of the slammer and going completely grey in the process – more on that below), he’s still got enough time to be Corrie’s resident have-a-gohero. Next week, Robert notices Joseph darting across the street and into the path of the Bistro van, so heroically throws himself in the way to try and rescue him. While, I won’t spoil the surprise of whether he actually manages to get to him in time (here’s hoping , though, because the Grim Reaper’s done overtime on the cobbles recently), it does beg the question that, if he’s brave enough to risk his life for the little ’un, why can’t he man up in terms of his actual balls? During a heart to heart with Michelle in the hospital, where he lands up after his heroic antics, Robert ’fesses up that he actually discovered the lump weeks ago, but was basically in some kind of denial, so didn’t do anything about it.
Luckily, feisty Michelle decides to take matters, um, into her own hands and arranges for him to have an appointment with a urologist who immediately recommends Robert has a scan. Unfortunately for the loved-up couple, the results aren’t good, and the doctor reveals the lump is most likely malignant and that they’ll have to remove Robert’s testicle as soon as possible. But given how deeply he’s been burying his head in the sand and his deep aversion to hospitals since his dad’s cancer, will Robert actually agree to have the operation? Oh, and to make matters a million times worse – because apparently that is possible – Robert decides in his infinite wisdom that the best way to forget about his illness is to hit up the casino. Hard. And while sensible Johnny tries to drag him home before he loses the shirt off his back, Robert’s undeterred and stays till the bitter end. Oh dear.
Someone was high when they came up with the idea for this
Grow some balls and lose a ball, Robbo