Claude littner: I WAS hooked on Love ISLAND
Is the stern-faced Apprentice star as scary IRL as he is on the show? Kay Ribeiro finds out…
We have to admit, we were a little nervous about interviewing The Apprentice’s Claude Littner. A successful businessman with nearly 50 years’ experience, the eyes and ears of Lord Sugar has got a fearsome reputation for reducing cocksure candidates to gibbering wrecks after reviewing their CVS. Also, having signed off our photo shoot concept – a nod to his surprising enjoyment of Love Island, which he tweeted about regularly – we receive a cautionary note to ensure we don’t go too OTT on the LI front and “it doesn’t get too silly”. Now, as you know, dear readers, “silly” is in heat’s DNA and this fact, along with the small issue of our bespoke “Claude” Love Island water bottle prop not arriving on time, we’re feeling a tad tense.
So, imagine our complete shock – and utter relief – when, upon arrival at our studio, not only does the 69 year old greet us with a warm smile, but he comes brandishing his own “Claude” water bottle. He’s immediately at pains to point out a fan sent it to him and he didn’t actually buy it himself, but either way, Claude has totally saved the day. While he certainly has a firm-but-fair, business-like manner to him, he is – and he’ll hate us for revealing this – thoroughly lovely, charming and good company to be with. In fact, the interview is going so swimmingly, we think there could be a new job on the horizon for us. That is, until we start talking about Love Island ’s Jack and Dani…
Do you have to call Alan Lord Sugar or can you call him Al?
[Smiles.] Well, the thing is, I’ve known Alan for 30-odd years. When I first started working for him, obviously, I called him Mr Sugar, because that was who he was then. But as the years have gone by, I’ve worked very closely with him, so for 25 years, I’ve called him…
Sugs?
No. Alan, because we’re good friends. We know each other well – he knows my weaknesses, I know his strengths. Our families have been friends for many years.
Karren is a Baroness. Do you have to address her formally?
I have to kneel in front of her, obviously – she demands that. No, the thing about Karren, as with most people, she has her profile but, actually, when you’re friends with her, she is a perfectly normal human being. We have a good laugh and we get on very, very well.
What about you? Is a peerage on its way? Lord Claude has a ring to it…
It has. Look, if you could help me get that, that would be appreciated. Don’t forget I did bring my own water bottle…
When each new series of The
Apprentice starts, can you pick a winner from the start?
No, you can’t really judge who are going to be the ones that are successful. You can definitely see those who have probably got no chance, but I think it’s quite difficult to pick a winner early on. I definitely can’t.
What are you writing in your note pad when you follow the candidates around?
When you see us furiously writing we are, apart from doing our Christmas list, really painfully recording what people are saying, and our thoughts on the qualities of the various people, because all that then gets transmitted to Alan.
So, you’re not just doodling, then?
No. It’s actually the most stressful thing – I’m there to capture everything that is said, but typically, when you get into a little room with Alan, he will say, “So, who was it that suggested that particular thing?” And I’m thinking, “I can’t remember,” but fortunately I have notes. So, you can’t just sit there and have a cup of tea – you’ve really got to listen to what they’re saying, who is suggesting things, who gets the team off track or puts them back on track. Those are important things.
Do you have favourite candidates?
No, not really. There are some people whose selling skills or general ability is good, and I warm to them, but I don’t have favourites, because the truth is I don’t care. I don’t mean that in a negative way – I just want to find the best person to work with Alan.
So, there’s no point in them trying to curry favour with you?
They do it all the time. They say how nice my hair is, for example. [Smiles.] No, they’re always trying to ingratiate themselves. The thing is I don’t talk to them at all, I don’t look at them, if they say hello, I completely ignore them.
Wow…
It’s terribly rude, but I do. Because I don’t want to say hello to someone and then the next day, they feel encouraged by that and start asking about my weekend, and then another candidate sees that and thinks, “Oh, he really likes them.” So it’s best to just completely ignore them. I don’t give them any encouragement at any time.
Do you smile ever?
Smile? Never! I might show disdain.
Have they ever said anything to Lord Sugar that you’ve cringed at?
Only when they’re disrespectful. I think to myself, “They’re taking a very big risk,” and I do take a sharp intake of breath. Because that’s a real problem – you don’t want to upset his equilibrium.
Are people terrified to come up to you in the street?
I’m very surprised – because I have such a terrifying profile – I think that it would be unlikely for anyone to be friendly towards me. But when someone comes up and asks for a selfie or whatever, I’ve always got time for them. I like it. It’s surprising, but very nice.
Someone on Twitter said you were “more peng than snooker player Peter Ebdon”. We were impressed you knew what peng meant…
I didn’t. I had to look it up, because it could’ve been an insult. But if I’m peng, there you go.
what about sick, muggy, lit…
Oh yeah, sick, I know. And muggy is from
my Love Island days…
when did your affair with Love island begin?
I was young and aspirational. [Laughs.] I’ve got two sons – one is 39 now and one is 40 – and a few years ago, they said, “Dad, you’ve got to watch Love Island.” So, I tuned in and I’ve been watching ever since. And it’s a shockingly, absolutely awful programme, but you get hooked! It’s a terrible programme, it’s absurd. And it’s so out of character for me as well…
would you have ever gone on the show years ago?
Why do you think my moment has passed?
Um, because you’re married and your wife would probably mind?
We’re very open minded. It could be that she would welcome it. [Laughs.] No, no chance.
who were your favourites this year?
I didn’t particularly warm to any of them, because they were all completely fake and absurd. But somebody who sticks in my mind is the Scottish one.
Laura Anderson?
So, so needy. She’s been with somebody for two days and she’s madly in love with them, and he’s the love of her life, and then of course he dumps her because she’s so needy and she’s talking marriage and children. And then a day later, someone else is attracted to her and she’s completely forgotten about the first one and
he’s the love of her life! It’s just sad.
How do you feel about Doctor Alex?
Sad case. Honestly, he seemed so pathetic and sad with women. He was just so, so clueless. I could help him a lot. I mean he’s got to have more of a chat-up line and he’s got to be a bit more assertive, hasn’t he?
what’s your verdict on Jack and Dani?
Fake!
what? no, they’re not!
Absolutely fake. She is not interested in him. Jack was very, very keen on her, for whatever motives. I think she went with him because he was a safe pair of hands. He didn’t demand too much and she stuck with him…
no!
I don’t think she was into him. I didn’t get that chemistry.
we’ll have to agree to disagree. Can you believe that Alex Bowen and Olivia Buckland got married?
Well, the unbelievable thing about that was they didn’t invite me. After following them, admiring them, wishing them well, nothing! Do you know what I mean? Can you imagine my disappointment? It’s not right…
Does it warm your cockles?
No. I’m surprised that any of them stick together, but I suppose just by the law of averages, you know, one in 100 would actually make it to the altar.
You’re a pro at analysing job interviews. How do you think this one went?
Look, you started off brightly. You made a very good impression, but first impressions are not things you can rely on and I’m afraid you disagreed with me about Jack and Dani, and that is a no-no. If you want, you can take it back, but if you want to stand by the strength of your convictions, I will be speaking to Lord Sugar, and I can assure you he won’t be saying yes to your next interview opportunity. And as far as
The Apprentice goes, you can forget it, I’m sorry. I hate to end on a low point, but I’ve got to be straight with you. You haven’t made it through.
we’ll get a taxi, then…
There is no taxi. You’ll have to walk. The Apprentice begins on Wednesday, BBC1, 9pm
‘Jack and Dani are fake – she’s not interested in him’