We Keep ending up naked Together

The Love Island BFS talk bromances and Brexit with Samantha Wood

If there’s one surefire way to get us hitting the Series Record button on a new TV show, it’s the promise of Love Island BFFS Chris and Kem in the buff. Playing sport. With a pair of naked old age pensioners. Ladies and gents, this isn’t any fake news /clickbait trickery – this is a genuine spoiler alert for what’s to come later this month in the pair’s ITV2 show You Vs Chris & Kem, which pits the boys against the British public in a series of crazy (and, by the sounds of things, pretty chilly) dares.

It’s been a busy 18 months for the pair, who shot to fame after popping the bro into bromance during series three of Love Island. Since then, they’ve both split with the girls they met on the summer show (Amber Davies and Olivia Attwood), Kem got his skates on and made it to the semi-finals of last year’s Dancing On Ice, and both lads failed to outsmart intelligence officers after hiding out in a spa on Celebrity Hunted. There’s also been the Love Island podcasts, This Morning interviews, celeb parties, high-profile DM sliding and a very interesting kiss between Chris and Jesy Nelson from Little Mix in a kebab shop. But one thing remains the same: the love that these boys have for each other… The bromance is going strong, guys. What’s been your biggest argument? C: That time when we were on Celebrity Hunted and I wanted wedges with my pizza, but we were on a budget so you said no. That was the only time we’ve had a bit of a disagreement. K: You left the pizza anyway! What annoys you most about each other? C: He doesn’t really annoy me.

K: We’ll have the odd disagreement, but then we just laugh. We spend a lot of time together – at work, and outside of work. Like, my family went and stayed with his family for five days just after Christmas. He’ll always be my best friend. I just couldn’t live with him. Why not? K: He’s way too messy for me. I’ve got really bad OCD, and this guy is the messiest man I’ve ever met. C: I think I’m alright, to be fair. I’m the average 26 year old! Why are you “Chris and Kem” and not “Kem and Chris”?

C: It just rolls off the tongue better, I think.

K: That’s what you say… but it probably does.

C: And when you see us, we always stand in height order, from tallest to shortest.

K: Yeah. He always has a go at me because I always get it wrong. He reckons he’s got a better side. Whenever we stand together, he’ll just slowly push me over to the left.

C: Yeah, there is that. If we’re on a red carpet or something, I’ll always be on Kem’s right. My face just photographs better that way. I think everyone has a better side, they just don’t always work it out. Can you tell us about some of the challenges on series two of your show? K: Let’s just say my mum was nervous watching some of them. She said it was worse than watching Love Island. Oh, good god… K: Ha, ha! Yeah, I had to do quite a lot of things out of my comfort zone. We end up being naked in a couple of the challenges – not out of choice.

C: It was alright for me. I’m quite confident. I don’t mind getting naked, but Kem’s not as happy getting his little boy out.

K: One challenge was against two 70 year olds, and their passion was playing sport, naked. Their “passion”? K: Well, apparently. That’s what they told us anyway.

C: It was like a naturist resort, and they were really serious about it, so we had to show respect and strip off. We played this French game with them called Boules. Boules all over the place! C: There was a lot of boules, to be honest! K: I couldn’t go fully naked. I had to put a sock on my willy. A sock? K: My mum would have been too disappointed in me. C: It was a big sock, though. K: But then what happened is they blurred Chris’ bits out, because he was naked, but they didn’t blur out my sock. So, I’ve come out of this situation worse! I showed my mum, and she said it’s the worst thing she’s ever seen. She loves the show, but she can’t handle all the naked stuff. Is that the worst thing you’ve done? K: Probably, yeah, because we were naked in front of a film crew. C: We haven’t said no to anything yet, though. But if it involved snakes or spiders, I would. Or toads. Big toads. I can’t go near them. What is the Bro Mobile like by the end of the series? K: It’s a right mess – literally crisps everywhere. C: It smells good, though, of two wonderful aftershaves. I wear a lovely bit of Chanel. There was a lady on the radio called Julie Mcdowall who has synesthesia and claims she can “taste” names. What do you think she said

your name tastes like? C: [Immediately] My name tastes like strawberries. Nope. Chris tastes like Cheese & Onion Ringos… K: [Looking confused] What about me? Can you give me a hint?

C: Pickle? She said that Kem tastes like the soft bristles on a worn-down toothbrush…

K: I don’t know if that’s a compliment. I use electric as well. No one uses a manual toothbrush any more. Chris is an actual food and I’m like some old, worn-down object? Does she make this stuff up?

C: I don’t think this woman’s got very good taste. Kem, you recently said “never say never” about getting back with Amber… K: I said that more out of respect. I wouldn’t want to disrespect someone I spent a lot of time with and cared about. But no, I wouldn’t get back with her. I feel like a lot’s happened, and we’re now both in

good places. We’re polite with each other now.

C: I don’t really talk to Olivia any more. There’s no hard feelings there, though. So how are your love lives? C: Nothing to report, really. Honestly? Not got your eye on anyone? K: No. Not really. Not been “mixing” things up

with any tasty dates, Chris? C: None at all. Come on, we all saw that kiss with Jesy Nelson in the kebab shop…

K: The tongue picture! I think it’s quite nice to see two people having a kiss in a kebab shop. I mean, everyone’s kissed someone in a kebab shop at one point in their lives. I know I have.

C: Without giving anything away, I’m in a good place. But if I need

any help with my love life, I’ll give heat a shout. Kem, we’re loving your Dancing On Ice reporting… K: Yeah, I’ve loved it, too. Finally, a show my mum can watch! She used to hide behind a pillow watching Love Island. Ever have a cheeky little skate?

K: Yeah, every week! I’m not very good, though. I said to Wes the other day that I feel like I could do the whole show two times over and I still wouldn’t be anywhere near as good as him.

C: I’m horrendous at skating. Is the DOI curse to thank

for Wes and Meg’s split?

K: I think that it’s just life. If people get swayed that easily on these shows, then obviously they’ve already got issues in their relationship anyway. So, you reckon Wes has got it on with Vanessa? K: I don’t think so. I know her well from last year, and I just don’t think they would. Do you think the Meg and Wes split is

even a real thing? K: I think it probably is. Yeah, I reckon so. What about Jon Snow, their pet hamster? C: Hamster? I didn’t know they had a hamster.

K: [Laughs] Every time I’m backstage and he goes on, I shout, “Do it for the hamster!” I reckon he’ll be in the final, one hundred per cent. He’s very athletic. He’s a beast. Is Gemma Collins really a nightmare to work with? K: She’s alright, Gemma. She creates hype, and I think she gets a lot more affected by things than people think. Have you boys been panic buying food ahead of Brexit? K: Have we what? [heat explains there might be some food shortages]

K: I don’t know if that’s true. Is it? To be honest, I don’t really keep up with Brexit. I find it all a bit confusing.

C: I eat out a lot. I don’t use supermarkets much, to be honest.

K: I eat a LOT of Oreos. We stock up on those in my house.

C: I buy Mcdonald’s, but you can’t really buy that in advance. What if Mcdonald’s ran

out of burgers?

C: Oh, they wouldn’t. Mcdonald’s will be selling burgers until the world burns out. So, I’ll be good as gold. I love a Big Mac. Not with bacon, though. I don’t go in for all this tinkering.

K: I live with my parents still, so my mum does the shopping. I’m looking to buy a house at the moment, but I’d still probably get my mum to do my food shop. Is that bad? She’d know what I want. But surely YOU’D know what you want? K: But she’s more sensible. She’d know what to get, like the stuff you put in the toilet to clean it and that. Bleach? K: Yeah. Bleach. Stuff like that. I wouldn’t think of getting that.

‘If I need any help with my love life, I’ll give heat a shout…’