Britain’s Got Talent: The Champions
ITV, Saturdays
In Simon Cowell’s head, he’s clearly Darth Vader amassing his Stormtroopers to help take over the world. That can be the only explanation for his extraordinary behaviour on the opening episode of BGT: The Champions, which aired on Saturday, when he was utterly beguiled by the simple charms of Boogie Storm, the novelty dance troupe who perform in knockoff Star Wars costumes. It’s either that, or Cowell thinks these guys really are members of a totalitarian army from a galaxy far, far away, who just happen to like doing the moves to YMCA.
And Simon’s mind-blowing love for Boogie Storm wasn’t even the funniest bit of the show. Even better than the Storm, and even creepier than Simon’s full chest hair exposure, was bizarre illusionist The Sacred Riana, who’s stolen her
look from the gothic girl who crawls out of a TV in horror film The Ring. Her supposedly scary schtick is to keep a straight face while she bangs on about victims of a serial killer, twitches her head and carries a monstrous doll. Of course, the subject of her magic routine was Amanda Holden, the most easily spooked human on the planet. David Walliams trying not to laugh while a terrified Amanda took part was a major highlight in a show full of glorious and unapologetic silliness.
At a time of massive political upheaval and conflict, when we’re all suddenly supposed to know what “prorogue” means, this new incarnation of BGT is perfectly timed to take our minds off all the misery out there in wider society. Although, I wouldn’t be surprised if we see more of Simon’s Stormtroopers quite soon...