Heat (UK)

The STAR Exchange

Whose stock is rising and falling in the celebrity market this week?

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SAFE BET BATTLE OF THE SEXIES

Those 1D boys are like buses. You wait ages for a new song, then Harry Styles AND Niall Horan slap us in the face with new material. The winner? Niall’s song is catchy, but Harry looks so fine. It’s a toughie.

GOOD PERFORMANC­E AGE GAPS WORTH AN INVESTMENT SLEEPLESS NIGHTS

Huge congratula­tions to Natalie Imbruglia, who gave birth to her first child, Max Valentine, last week after undergoing IVF with a sperm donor. Let’s hope the birth was nothing like her most famous song… Sienna Miller loved her ageing prosthetic­s for The Loudest Voice (yes, this is her). She revealed that she shocked passersby by kissing her toyboy boyfriend, adding, “They were horrified at the sight of this young boy kissing his nana!”

STOCK FALLING FACIAL RECOGNITIO­N

We watched them on our tellies every night for months, but we barely recognise former Love Islanders Megan Bartonhans­on and Amber Gill, who both seem to have acquired new hair – and faces – in the past week.

STOCK RISING FRIENDLY RIVALRY

Watch out, X Factor. Little Mix are about to make former boss Simon scowl, as they gear up to launch their own Saturday night talent show to find the next big pop group.

BUY! BUY! BUY! SKATING ON NEW GROUND

Ian “H” Watkins is set to make TV history, following news that he’ll be partnering Matt Evers on the next series of Dancing On Ice – making them the show’s first-ever same-sex pairing. About time.

GOING DOWN MATERNITY LEAVE

Alesha Dixon waved ta-ra to her statutory rights last week, rocking up for her America’s Got Talent judging duties just seven weeks after giving birth. And there was no spit-up in sight.

SELL! SELL! SELL! COMEBACKS

Plans for a Spice Girls’ Australia tour and Las Vegas residency have been axed, after Geri Horner refused to go back to work with Scary Spice. Fancy stepping in now, Posh?

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 ??  ?? I’d be happy to squeeze into the Union Jack mini if you need me, girls
I’d be happy to squeeze into the Union Jack mini if you need me, girls

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