LIFE ACCORDING TO Ovie
The Love Islander turns agony uncle with the biggest life lessons from his new book
When he strode into the Love Island villa, Ovie Soko wasn’t your average contestant. Ultra laid-back and swerving the dramas, the 6ft 7in basketball star quietly made eggs, handed out advice and looked awesome in hats. If you’ve ever seen him dish out wisdom to his followers about their dilemmas on Insta stories, you’ll know that the government should employ him as Minister for Relationships. (That’s a thing, right?) So, we’re super-chuffed that he’s written his very own book You Are Dope, where he outlines the struggles he’s been through in his life to become Mr Cool – from nearly throwing his basketball career away after getting into trouble at school, to having his heart broken into pieces and learning how to love again. We chatted to the big man about what these lessons have taught him about masculinity, social media, failure and, of course, Love Island.
How did you come to write an advice book?
I have a little black book where I write down goals and I journal. Even before I went on Love Island, I’d written down that I wanted to provide a service that helped people feel better about themselves. Funnily enough, I went onto Love Island, then I’m presented with this opportunity to write a book. I’m very conscious of trying to give back, and I wanted to do something that would help people out with stuff that all of us go through. We all go through a lot of shit. Writing the book took me back to a lot of those moments in my life and made me think over a lot of the lessons that I try to touch on in the book.
What does it mean to be “dope”?
Dopeness is being able to live to the beat of your own drum and make decisions that truly align with everything that feels right inside, regardless of what’s going on around you – like expectations of friends and family, the noise of culture or anything else going on externally. Being able to listen to what’s going on inside your head and truly understand how powerful that is and how fulfilling that is – that, to me, is dopeness.
You describe positive masculinity as not ignoring your emotions and trusting your instincts. How did you arrive at that? I came to find my own version of masculinity from my own life experiences. For me, in some of those situations – particularly when I nearly messed up the whole opportunity to go and train for a basketball career in the States when I got into some mischief at school – it was through sitting back and learning from that.
Do you still have to work on it?
Constantly! Growth and learning should be a journey, which doesn’t stop until the day we pass on.
You list your mentors, including your big brother Raymond Junior – but is there a danger of confusing someone who you look up to with someone who makes you feel inferior?
It’s a very easy trap to fall into. We always want to respect and appreciate everyone’s strengths around us, but in doing that, you must also appreciate your abilities and give yourself respect as well. The thing is, we get dragged into this monster that is social media now, where people are looking at these false images of perfection and start comparing themselves. Comparing yourself to someone else can lead to imitation, and no one’s dopeness can be imitated. It’s unique.
How did you manage to stay away from all the drama in Love Island?
I really feel like I was quite privileged, in the sense that I had already done a bit of travelling and actually lived in different places, such as Spain, France and Greece. I learned a lot from these different cultures, so my life experience meant that I went into the villa at a very different place in my life mentally. I was happy with who I was. I wasn’t going to act up for anyone or anything. I was just going to be who I was and do what felt right for me. Whether it was taken well or badly wasn’t really my concern – it was about being me.
Has sport helped you to trust your own instincts?
Totally. Being able to follow your instincts is what the athletes at the highest level
‘No one’s dopeness can be imitated – it’s unique’
are able to do on a consistent basis. There will be times when your parents might not agree with something that you feel very strongly about or your best mates might think it’s a bit off... It won’t be easy all the time, but in the long run, you’ll feel stronger for listening to your internal compass.
How do you deal with stuff when you mess up?
I’m an over-thinker – that’s my problem. I can process things through my mind a million times, which isn’t good. We’re never going to make the right call 100 per cent of the time. No one on this planet has done it yet. I just try to move past it and take the lesson from it. n
You Are Dope by Ovie Soko (Quadrille, £12.99) is out now