Can’t wait to date?
The shops and gyms are open, and so is your love life
During lockdown, any dreams of dating were put on hold. But if you were starting to worry you would be single forever, it’s time to finally press the end button on your virtual Zoom dates and resume IRL dating again – socially distanced for now.
Whether you’re feeling rusty or new to dating after a split, you might be nervous about getting back in the game. If you feel your flirting skills could do with a little dusting off, we quizzed celebrity matchmaker Anna Williamson on how to get your dating mojo back and get back on the market…
WHERE SHOULD I START WITH DATING?
Swipe-culture is real, and it’s very easy to get a bit too caught up into staring at our phones for hours. Anna says, “Apps are great, but we can have too much of a good thing, like chocolate cake. I think there’s always a place for apps and platforms. I’m really pro using them as a way to initially connect. It’s safe and a way of being able to work out if that person has the same goals or attitudes towards dating. But it’s important that it doesn’t become consuming and you have a healthy balance and are setting boundaries on how much you are actively on the dating apps.”
I’M AN ONLINE DATING NEWBIE…
Dating profiles should showcase all the good and interesting bits about yourself. Anna says, “Keep dating profiles clean and concise. Avoid waffle and bullshit clichés like, ‘I’m just out for a good time,’ or, ‘I don’t take life too seriously.’ When you’re looking at a dating profile, you want to be picking out those buzzwords that pique interest and intrigue people.”
Anna recommends that active daters give their profiles a refresh every few months. “They can get a bit stale. How you were feeling when you first created that profile won’t be how you’re feeling a few months later. Refreshing your profile every couple of months will make sure it’s really on point and you can talk about the goals you have this year.”
I’VE LOST MY DATING CONFIDENCE!
We’ve all been baking banana bread and chowing down on takeaways during lockdown, because let’s be honest, there wasn’t much else to do. But Anna is here to reassure you that you don’t need to go changing what you look like and losing your lockdown pounds to get out there.
“Be kind and give yourself a break,” she says. “If you’re not feeling good about yourself, remember you are part of a pack, we’re all running low on self-esteem and confidence right now, too. Ask yourself, “How can I boost my self-esteem and what does that look like for me?” Does it mean eating more healthily? Or getting out there and doing a bit more exercise? Or practicing mindfulness? Whatever it takes, do it – you’ll feel a whole lot better mentally.”
I’VE FORGOTTEN HOW TO FLIRT!
Let’s be honest, our chat-up lines are bound to be a bit rusty, but Anna has the verbal WD40 ready to guarantee you won’t look like a total cheeseball and keep the conversation flowing during a date. “Arm yourself with interesting anecdotes or stories about yourself beforehand,”she tells us. “It’s OK to talk about common topics such as your favourite movie or food, but that’s a bit boring. It’s about having more depth and eliciting whether that person has the same values as you. Ask them about their favourite holiday, the achievements they’d like to accomplish in the next five years or their most embarrassing story. They’re great conversation starters and you can find out about them and if they’re right for you.”
AM I MOVING TOO FAST?
After a bit of a physical drought, it’s understandable if you want to
‘Refreshing your profile will keep it on point’
get out there and start tashing on. The government has put a stop to snog-athons and hugging right now with social distancing, making it easier, in theory, to move at a steady pace with a potential new bae. “It is possible to fall head-over-heels in love and off you go, but I would always try to exercise a bit of caution,” says Anna. “Prolong the intrigue and mystery. Create a mental space where you can sit back, pause and analyse what’s going on and give that person that gift of missing you, too.”
New episodes of Anna’s podcast Breaking Mum And Dad: The Podcast are available now from Apple, Spotify and all good streaming platforms