A QUESTION OF FAITH

With Simon Wearn Rector of Holy Trinity Church Friends and Neighbours WHAT does Brexit, Chilcot and a fall out down the pub have in common? That’s not a joke... even if it sounds like one!

One common thread is our relationship with others – what’s the nature of our partnership with others, especially when facing conflict? To put it simply – it’s about friendship.

Sometimes the question is asked: What’s the difference between family and friends? Answer: you can choose your friends! – that can be taken a dig about family, but I think it gets at something very important.

As a nation, we’re a bit like a family – we live in the same place, we share the same history, and our future is bound together. But we’re in an unsettling time, and we are a divided family – with different views and votes over Brexit. And yet, we are still a family and have to find a way of living together.

When it comes to other nations, however, it may be more like being friends. We have some choice about who are our friends, and how we relate.

Friendship is not always straightforward – in life we can experience pressure to go along with the crowd, or be drawn into poor decisions. But friendship has strengths too – like sticking by each other through tough times. Often the best friendships are formed around a common interest or activity – at the rugby club, or even at work.

So what can we learn about friendship?

Friends do stuff together – our future is not about isolation, but choosing what we want to do together, and do it wholeheartedly. There will be times when we will continue to share a common cause with our European neighbours – and should do so enthusiastically.

Friends speak the truth - it’s not always about saying yes, rather it’s about encouraging each other in what is right. The Bible talks about “speaking the truth in love”. In the difficulty of the decision to go to war in Iraq in 2003 was perhaps an unquestioning support of American friends, which cut out more frank conversations.

Friends make sacrifices for each other. The ultimate example of friendship is Jesus, who “laid down his life for his friends” – there are times when friendship is costly, and friendship means putting others first. Our future is not about a selfish pursuit of our own ambitions, but includes a generous care of others. And we can start that in our own communities, with those who may not be family, but can be friends.

As we look to the future, and we wonder how we relate to others, consider this: If you want to have good friends – be a good friend.