Tales of Pedro the Fisherman

NEWS last week that an award winning private prep school in south London is seeking to terminate the lease of a neighbouring bowls club put me on my guard.

Teachers at Seaton House School in Sutton allege that those on the green can see into windows where girls aged two to 11 are undressing for PE lessons.

My house backs on to a similar sporting establishment and although the glazing in the bathroom would protect me from being observed while abluting , that facility was recently out of use for just over a year as both the shower and taps required attention (don’t ask!).

During this time I was having to make the dash to the downstairs wet room, a route where all the windows are plain glass and there was nothing to hide my modesty at times when lady bowlers might have been playing.

As with the school I am not aware of any claims of voyeurism but, I’ll say it to save you, that might be for the very good reason that there was nothing possibly seen worth complaining about and the ladies could keep their eyes on the jack.

Errants expensive Research by the University of Nevada, Las Vegas found that owners of more expensive cars were less likely to stop for pedestrians at zebra crossings, the odds decreasing by about three per cent for each £800 of the vehicle’s value.

They added that previous studies had shown that wealth is associated with greater self regard, more likelihood of unethical behaviour and lower levels of fellow feeling.

However, I, as a regular user of such crossings, have found no such evidence of failure to obey the law – for that is what it is – and the closest I have come to being cleaned up, the car stopping fractions of an inch from my right leg as I stepped out, was a family car the driver of which was most apologetic!

While on the subject of road users I have to say I have seen no improvement in the way mini roundabouts are used as drivers continue to go partly or wholly through the centre and even going to the right rather than keeping left of the road markings.

Usurping users

It’s happened again – people taking advantage of my absence.

A fortnight ago when I did not submit a column this space was occupied by Mike Lockley and the latest incidence of “would you be as quick to jump into my grave” was during the lunch break at a seminar on Saturday when I went to get a mug of tea and when I returned someone had taken the chair I was sitting in!

Thank you Joyce Dowsell for responding to my request for ideas to keep Mike Lockley from these pages but the suggestion is a bit too close to home and worthy as it is taking it up might result in the item being edited out or even my exclusion.

Children’s choice

Talk on the radio of social media trolls reminded me of the story of the three billy goats gruff, one of the favourites on Children’s Choice back in the day.

Who from that era can forget the warning “I’m a troll, fol de rol, I’m a troll, fol de rol and I’ll eat you for supper” as the trio tried to cross the

“rickety, rackety” bridge under which it lived?

They were innocent times then when top recording artists like Rosemary Clooney would tell listeners about “Me And My Teddy Bear” or posed the question “Where Will The Dimple Be?” on a baby. Somehow I can’t imagine her current day equals like Adele or Rihanna releasing such simple subject songs.

I was taken back to the days of “The Runaway Train”, “The Laughing Policeman” and two by Burl Ives “The Big Rock Candy Mountain” and “I Know An Ol’ Lady Who Swallowed A Fly” as well as

“The Whistling Gypsy” and the one I always recall whenever the Chelsea player of the same name is mentioned “Pedro The Fisherman”.

Perhaps you remember others, if so let me know please.