The Moody Mare rugby shirt

Be warned, the change from childhood to teen happens overnight and is not a pretty sight, says Catherine Austen

GEORGIE’S mum Jane had no idea the Harry Enfield sketch, Kevin and Perry, was actually true. Last summer, Georgie was still a little girl who loved ponies more than anything. She was so sweet, with her neat plaits and toothy smile, and it was such fun taking her to rallies and shows, where she was so thrilled with her pony, no matter where they finished.

Then as if by magic, she metamorphosed into a stroppy madam who says it is “so unfair” that she is asked to muck out the smart 15.2hh that Jane bought her, after much pleading, at the weekends.

“I want to go to Sasha’s party on Saturday and it’s a sleepover, so I can’t muck out anyway, and I need to get that Jack Wills top on Saturday afternoon because I hate all my clothes and both Sasha and Kelsey have them, and I can’t believe you want me to go to that stupid Pony Club rally instead,” moans Georgie.

After two hours of whinging, Jane snaps.

“I’m going to sell that bloody horse to a nice girl who deserves him and might look after him,” she shouts. “You are so lucky — Granny never helped me with my ponies…”

“Yeah, yeah, you’ve told me, like, a million times,” interrupts Georgie, rolling her eyes.

But Jane knows that Georgie, who her Pony Club DC thinks is really quite naturally talented, is desperate to start doing British Eventing events this year (like the wretched Sasha, of course).

If Georgie wants Jane to pay to register her and the new horse, she’d better not push her too far… And so she buys her a little jokey present as a reminder: a “Moody Mare” rugby shirt.