DENIS KILCOMMONS It’s not every mother that values slippers T

YPICAL: the one day a year we celebrate mothers and it’s an hour short. Mother’s Day coincides with clocks going forward, with the loss of 60 minutes, to mark the start of British Summer Time.

Not that it will affect mums. Whether the day is long or short they are always on duty.

If they are lucky, they may get flowers and a family lunch down at the pub. But they will still be expected, as a matter of course, to run the household as normal, provide supper, make sure the kids have done their homework and sort them out for school the next day.

Who knows, they may even get time off for good behaviour with a bottle of Prosecco and sit down to watch the start of the new six-part awardwinning Line of Duty series with Thandie Newton.

Mothers, of course, come in all sizes, ages and dispositions. Which means offspring should bear in mind that, although of different generations, mums and grandmas don’t necessarily like lavender oil and fur-lined slippers. They should, perhaps, be more adventurous when buying gifts. My wife Maria, for instance, was a fashion icon of the Swinging 60s (well, she was to me) and she was delighted the other day when one daughter commented on the tight leggings, boots, Betty Boop T shirt and designer hoodie and said: “Ooh, rock chick.” She would not appreciate lavender oil. Neither would rock chick Chrissie Hynde, fashionista Victoria Beckham or television star Amanda Holden, all mums of a certain age. Anyone planning a lunchtime family celebration should also ensure they advance their clocks and watches before going to bed on Saturday night because embarrassing mistakes can happen. Like turning up at the restaurant at the wrong time. “I have a table booked.” “You HAD a table booked. An hour ago.” If this is at all likely to happen, maybe you had better make sure there are two bottles of Prosecco handy and, among the presents, is a boxed set of Poldark and a Best of the Rolling Stones CD.

My wife Maria, for instance, was a fashion icon of the Swinging 60s (well, she was to me)

THEY were debating on a TV show whether it was a good idea to tell children scary stories at bed-time.

Knowing from experience that scary stories at any time can affect a child’s equilibrium when it comes to whispering sleep tight in a darkened room where a night light casts shadows, I don’t think a scary story is a good idea.

After all, a scary film can have adults going to sleep with the light on.

My mate Ian went to bed with the light on and the radio playing after watching The Blair Witch Project on DVD when he was home alone. Oo-er, mum.

Young minds can worry about the oddest things. And, when reading to our children, my wife and I stuck to tried and trusted story books rather than dipping into Edgar Allan Poe.

Others may have contrary opinions but, what a grown-up may see as a laugh, can have darker meanings for children.

If in doubt, I recall the classic John Smith’s advert with the comedian Peter Kay, wife and friends enjoying a night out in an Asian restaurant when the babysitter phones.

“Put her on,” he says. And explains to the others: “Brittany. She’s having nightmares.

“About the wardrobe monsters.” Pause. “Brittany? “There’s no such thing as wardrobe monsters.

“It’s the burglars who break in through the window that you want to be worried about.

“Sweet dreams … Two lamb bhunas, here.”