A RECIPE IN THE TEABAG

football where worshippers filled stadiums for an emotionally draining service of adoration, occasional miracles but mainly false promise.

“It seems humans of the late 20th and early 21st centuries had a genuine concept of meditation, encouraged with short televised film interludes of a potter’s wheel or a flowing river. This developed into hours of watching two men hitting balls around a green baize table with sticks.”

Psychologists are working on the theory that this ritual performance induced temporary and beneficial coma in viewers.

“Diet seemed to be heavily reliant on pizzas, cola drinks and McDonalds, but there are still aspects of life 1,000 years ago we don’t understand, and Dr Sushi is leading a team attempting to unravel The Mystery of the Four Candles.” EA in bags is much inferior to loose leaf, I complained, having split one open and finding it contained little more than dust.

Never fear, Trish Lucas of Shepley got in touch with an alternative use for teabags, rather than using them for a hot drink.

She sent me a recipe for the Welsh delicacy of Bara Brith.

“It’s lovely and so easy to do, even you could make it,” she says.

I’m not so sure about that, Trish, but I’ll pass on the recipe: Put six ounces of currants, six ounces of sultanas and eight ounces of light muscovado sugar into a bowl.

Pour over 300 millilitres (half a pint) of strong tea and leave overnight. Stir in 10 ounces of self raising flour and one beaten egg and mix well.

Place in two one-pound loaf tins that have been lightly greased and lined with grease-proof paper and place into a pre-heated oven at 150 degrees C or gas mark two.

Bake for between an hour-and-a-half and an hour-and-three-quarters, or until well risen and firm to the touch. When cooled, serve sliced and buttered. Looks and sounds delicious. Could this be described as an authentic tea-cake?