Tr avel report LAKE DISTRICT I

N the early 13th century a wild boar terrorised and killed locals daring or daft enough to venture into the forest between Kendal and Windermere. Richard de Gylpin, being a noble sort, neutralised the threat. Then he ate it and mounted its head on the wall of his house. Probably.

If the head ever existed it has since vanished. But not to disappoint its guests the four-star Wild Boar Inn has the heads of at least two wild boars attached to its walls. It isn’t known if these more recent porcine victims were as much of a pain in the derrière to the local populace or if there were delivered in state.

The Wild Boar Inn sits off the main thoroughfare between Kendal to Windermere. It’s next door (relatively speaking) to the famous Gilpin Hotel, which has a Michelin Star restaurant. If you’re next door to a place like that you’d better not be anything less than great.

It’s a good job then that the Wild Boar is seldom less than great and often better.

As well as taxidermy, inside the Wild Boar you will find a microbrewery and a smokehouse. There’s also a 72-acre private wood where guests are free to potter about and spot red deer (I saw two) and birds.

When I was there (May) the wood was carpeted with bluebells lending it an enchanted feel. There were no wild boars fortunately.

The wood occasionally hosts clay pigeon shooting tournaments but when the leaded shot isn’t flying the wood is extremely tranquil. You can pass the hours birdwatching and avoiding the rest of the human race. Bliss!

Indoors we take one of the suites and it’s a beauty. The suite – pig themed only in name – is the quintessence of classic: heavy curtains and gilded, intricately turned mirrors and picture frames.

There are bookshelves in the corner packed with editions of Dickens and other classic titles that were mostly likely printed before our great-grandparents were in nappies.

There’s also a comfy king-size bed, a large LCD TV and a powerful shower. It is the perfect balance of old and new world.

After spoiling the aesthetic of the room with our overflowing suitcases we head down to the restaurant. There’s no space in the main dining room so we’re seated in the lounge. No problem.

We park on deep leather chairs and admire the clusters of framed drawings of animals, landscapes and suchlike on the walls plus the open fire and neat stack of firewood.

The menus come and it’s primarily carnivorous but in an inspiring rather than overbearing way. I should point out there were genuine fish and veggie alternatives.

We order a deli board of smoked meats, fish and cheeses to share. While we wait I have nosy around the microbrewery in the back room which creates some pretty decent ales, including a superb smoked porter.

The platter arrives with air-dried ham, homemade pastrami, in-house hot-smoked peppered wild boar, salami, hand carved smoked baked ham, house-cured Loch Duart smoked salmon, smoked cheddar, pickled egg, chutney, smoked wild boar sausage and bread and butter. Yowzah. And it’s as big and satisfying as it sounds.

After all that I order a 10oz rib-eye steak with thrice-cooked fries. My stomach is yet to register the sizeable starter.

Meanwhile Mrs Dave has a go at a ‘zesty Cumbrian’ marinated chicken breast. Our three-year-old opts for some locally-made sausages and chips from Sam’s Club. All kiddie related stuff in the Wild Boar is named after Sam, the owner’s old English sheepdog.

There’s even a Sam cuddly toy in our suite.

The lightly smoked rib-eye is as rib-eyes should be, soaked in flavour from the fat of the meat as well as juicy and tender. It is a winner – as are the fries.

Mrs Dave’s is certainly zesty and not to diminish the quality of the steak, I wish I’d ordered it after the feast of a starter.

Our little one’s dinner is full of quality, although by this time she’s tired and playing up. There are desserts – lovely sounding desserts – but we’re full and knackered. Back to the room I think.

When we return to the room there’s a Sam Club’s goody bag for our daughter. Like the wellies and brollies you can borrow before your amble around the woods, these guys think of everything.

After a decent night’s sleep we head down to the main dining room for breakfast and it’s every bit as good as our dinner.

There’s everything from fresh pastries to a full-on English breakfast.

The eggs benedict I order are expertly poached while the full English I try the following morning is quality-wise, bulletproof.

After a full English it’s time to leave after a faultless stay aided by