I’m getting in too deep to voice my opinion I

HAVE always envied the voice of my chum Willy.

It comes from his boots and, as he is well over 6ft 6ins tall by the time it comes out of his mouth it has depth, resonance and power that would, in a different age, have me climbing out of a trench and attacking a machine gun post bare-handed.

That’s probably an exaggeration, but you get my drift.

Besides, if he’d shouted loud enough there was a chance the Hun might have surrendered out of deference.

Such a vocal tone would sound a bit silly coming from me.

“Who said that?” could be the reaction as folk gazed over my head. Or, as has been frequent during years of pub banter: “Stand up when you are talking to me. Oh, you are standing up.”

As a teenager I thought my voice was non-descript.

Growing up in the suburbs of Outer Manchester I may, for a while, have sounded like Liam and Noel Gallagher’s much older brother.

I have even been compared to Frank Gallagher from Shameless. But during the years of wanderlust that followed my voice changed with the wind and, while it has returned more to its Yorkshire roots it remains, after a lifetime of experience, stubbornly non-descript.

So I was not surprised when I read that deep voices had distinct advantages, other than leading a military action.

Research by Viktoria Mileva from Stirling University and Juan David Leongomezata from a Columbian university found: “Deeper voices have been linked to having more surviving children and grandchildren, higher testosterone and lower stress hormones and longerterm survival in men.”

No wonder the ladies like them: strong vibrant chaps in all senses of the word who will ensure long life.

By heck, how did I manage to attract my wife Maria? She could have had any number of deep voiced blokes.

If she’d married the plumber she would have had gold taps years ago.

The managing director of the accountancy firm for which she worked made her an offer she refused.

And her very first boyfriend recently got in touch via Facebook to inform her he lives in a mansion in Kansas with barns converted to hold his collection of classic American roadsters and still carries a flame for her.

And she ended up with me in Honley.

But wait. The study adds an extra important factor. It said that women could successfully identify, by voice alone, those chaps likely to cheat and who were less trustworthy in general.

Besides, Maria never did like gold taps.