Confiture baguette: food of the gods F

ADULTS are abandoning night clubs and heading for ball pits, escape room challenges, bouncy castles and trampolines for entertainment, according to market researchers Mintel.

They predict £129 billion will be spent on such activities this year, a rise of 17% on five years ago, while nightclubs have suffered an 18% decline in popularity.

It’s easy to see the attraction of what have been, in some cases, children’s activities.

Elder daughter Siobhan insisted on having a bouncy castle at her wedding reception and was first in it after the speeches, in bridal gown, pushing small children aside.

“You’ll have to wait. It’s my bouncy castle.”

Not surprisingly, she often books one for the birthday parties of her three children in Donegal and can be found indulging her passion for vertical self-propulsion long after the kids have gone.

Even my musical hero Liam Gallagher has, in the past, called hotel reception and requested a trampoline be delivered to his room.

I heard this in an episode of TV programme Would I Lie To you. Host Rob Brydon confirmed the veracity of the fact. Liam told staff: “I like to bounce.”

Well, that’s understandable. Brydon added: “Other things Liam has done in hotel rooms is trashing the television, smashing some doors and breaking a window. He really is very poor at trampolining.” RENCH haute cuisine is losing out to burgers.

McDonalds and burger joints have invaded every corner of the globe and have even had an effect in the country that prides itself on the quality of its food, its chefs, its cooking and its gastronomic reputation.

But the French are used to challenges and, while burger sales are soaring, they are not your usual patty in a bun with the option of adding a slice of processed cheese to make it exotic.

Only 30% of burger sales are of the fast food variety. Most are sold in restaurants as a main course meal with knife and fork and created and cooked by chefs rather than served by graduates in media studies between proper jobs. “Would you like fries with that?”

Even McDonalds has had to ‘up’ its game and offers versions called McCamembert and McBaguette that comes with lashings of Dijon mustard.

Some of the blandest burger joints in the world are actually in the US, where Americans tend to have their taste buds removed at birth, although the worst I ever experienced was at an M1 motorway service station near London. The patty would have been better used for soling an old boot. Of course the English don’t always appreciate the speciality dishes of our neighbours across the Channel. On a visit to Pigalle my friend Wimps said to the waiter: “Do you have frogs legs?” “Oui, monsieur.” “Well hop over here and bring me a cheese sandwich.” My first encounter with French food was an embarrassing disaster, but then I was a callow youth on my first visit to Paris in 1962 to attend a wedding. I was unnerved by 10 courses of startling originality that I politely declined, one after the other, whilst directing my attention to the red wine. Eventually, the chef prepared for me, the only Englishman present, something I did find acceptable: a confiture baguette. Which sounds great until you realise it’s bread and jam. The baguette was oven crunchy and delicious. My first encounter with French food was an embarrassing disaster, but then I was a callow youth on my first visit to Paris