Strange sights in town as the sun comes out W
AS that the Grim Reaper strolling round Huddersfield on Sunday morning? Who else would wear shorts with a hoody?
This was not a youngster with a hip hop point to make. This was an adult with a sense of gloomy purpose: black boots, black socks, hairy legs and a hoody with the hood up.
A heavy duty version, possibly obtained from an Eastern Front Army Navy store, designed to blend in with the darker aspects of the Urals, and with a cowl as deep as eternity and big enough to hide a brotherhood of Benedictine monks.
The gaping aperture was so dark you couldn’t see inside without a torch and I didn’t fancy buying one from nearby Wilkinson’s and taking a look in case the occupant grinned ghoulishly and said: “Ah, there you are.”
Not my time yet, pal. I’ve got to be in the pub this evening. And no, you can’t call last orders.
He was just one of the many sights I saw on a perambulation around town on a day when sunshine seemed to have loosened inhibitions. It loosened mine two weeks ago and I am now committed to wearing shorts for the rest of summer unless we get a cold wet spell. If there is one thing dafter than wearing a raised hoody with shorts, it’s wearing them beneath a full-length mac.
The general rule in hot weather these days is anything goes, no matter age or body shape, which while being a sensible attitude, does at times cause a frisson of shock when turning a corner and encountering the unexpected. Like the lady almost wearing a sundress accompanied by a protective husband ready to respond if a glance lingers too long.
Sun tans appear to have regained their popularity when I thought they had gone out of fashion for health reasons. To be fair, I used to abuse my body on a regular basis when the sun came out because I tanned easily. This is possibly why I now look like a walnut.
These days I don’t mind the occasional brush with sunlight but would never contemplate stretching out on a lounger and turning at regular intervals like a barbecue roast to ensure an even tan.
Mind you, in my youth I read both volumes of War and Peace during three weeks on a South of France beach. What a fun guy I used to be.
For those who do enjoy sunbathing the guidelines are well known: wear high factor protection and avoid the noonday sun.
After all, only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in it.
Which is probably why the Grim Reaper was on the prowl in Huddersfield at noon.