Men get together to share struggles
HUNDREDS of men got together for a MENtal health session for blokes.
Almost 300 fellas took part in the World Mental Health Day event at the John Smith’s Stadium in Huddersfield yesterday, which saw guest speakers, including a number of household names, open up about their struggles.
Among them were Australian-born rugby league star of the 1980s and 90s, Phil Veivers, and former Super League referee Ian Smith, who both now work for mental health charity State of Mind, delivering talks around the country.
Phil, 54, told the Examiner he went to a dark place after losing his job as a rugby league coach.
The former St Helens star, who finished his career at the Huddersfield Giants in 1998 and has coached Salford City Reds and Cumbrian team, Workington Town, revealed he considered ending it all after his playing days came to an end.
“During my coaching years I went through depression, badly,” he said.
“I got to the edge of things, I was contemplating suicide.
“At the same time as that I lost my nephew in Australia to suicide, which was pretty devastating for the whole family and his friends.
“I just walked through the door one day and I didn’t know where I was going or what I was going to do.
“My wife rang me, which probably was a turning point, and I ended up sitting down at a table and writing what I wanted to achieve in the next hour.
“From there on that’s the way I’ve coped with things, by setting realistic goals that I can achieve and strive to do.
“From an early age men are instilled with the belief that you’ve got to be strong, tough, and that you can’t show weakness, show emotion, and you can’t cry’
“I’m passionate now about mental health and depression and wouldn’t like to see anyone go through what I went through.
“And I wouldn’t like anyone else to have to go through what my sister went through in losing a son.”
Asked if men’s mental health issues were different to women’s, he added: “In a way they are, because men are pretty insular – we keep things to ourselves and we don’t open up about things.
“Women are more likely to talk about their emotions than men are, and more likely to cry.
“From an early age men are instilled with the belief that you’ve got to be strong, tough, and that you can’t show weakness, show emotion, and you can’t cry. “To me that’s a myth. “Once you come to terms that it’s ok, you’ve broken down one of the big stigma barriers.”
Ex-Super League official, Ian Smith, said the suicide of colleague Chris Leatherbarrow – who took his own life in 2015 aged just 27 – had affected him and many of his fellow referees.
He said: “If I knew then what I know now we would have worked harder on his mental health, because of the issues that were going on in his personal life, affecting his professional life.
“Sometimes you’re spinning your own plates and you don’t realise what other people are going through emotionally.
“Then I left the RFL after 20 years and I didn’t realise how much of an impact it would have on me. “I felt like I’d lost my identity. “I was Ian Smith, the Super League referee. “Once you took me away from that sport I had no purpose and no reason to get up in the morning. “We all need a reason to get up. “I just spiralled a bit where I thought I don’t like the person that I am.
“I really struggled and eventually I decided I needed help.
“Us men are great at putting masks up, it’s all about ‘manning up,’ don’t show weakness, don’t cry.
“The macho culture and those values, we’ve got to break them down.”
Ian recovered after some counselling through Sporting Chance, founded by former Arsenal player Tony Adams, who had well publicised struggles with alcohol and depression.
Suicide is the biggest killer of men under the age of 50 and along with a number of speakers the Kirklees Council backed event also involved Andy’s Man Club, which is based at Huddersfield Fire Station and led by Ron Thewlis, who was at the stadium event.